Bonus Post

A little tip for the people of the world: If you leave a message on someone’s voice mail, say your phone number slowly. Way more slowly than you would normally speak. So slowly that you think you sound like an idiot speaking that slowly. Too many people rush through that part of the message as … Read more

New Year’s Resolutions Update

A month has passed since 2007 melted into 2008, so it’s time that I should check in on my new year’s resolutions. I have a feeling I’m not doing so well, but let’s see. Finish the novel. Status: Horrible. Excuse: I could say that I’ve been really busy at work—which I have—but that’s no excuse. … Read more

Cookies and TiVo

Today I present to you a simple strategy that could make your life a lot better, as well as an idea that TiVo should adapt before the generic, poorly designed cable DVRs do. Girl Scout CookiesEvery year I struggle to buy Girl Scout Cookies. I mean that literally—Girl Scouts simply don’t come to my door … Read more

Questions of the Day: Part Two

(This is a continuation of last week’s Monday post, found here.) Question: Why did the political parties choose such smelly, dirty animals to represent their parties? An elephant and a donkey? What’s up with that? Answer: I guess these smelly, dirty animals are the ones that the parties identify with most. Have you ever seen … Read more

There Will Be Popcorn

I’d like to apologize for the delay in posting this entry. I generally intend to post every day from Monday-Wednesday, with the occasional entry going up on Sunday. However, a variety of factors prevented me from doing so after Tuesday this week. It won’t happen again. Until it happens again. Let’s turn our attention to … Read more

My Greatest Fear

I’ll be honest—I’m a wimp. I’m scared of pretty much everything. I’m afraid of being mugged. I’m paranoid about spiders nesting under my skin while I sleep. I’m constantly worried I have food in my front teeth. When driving in certain parts of town, I seriously think that I’m going to be carjacked while I’m … Read more

Technology Update

Jott It Last week, in “My Brilliant Idea, Their Great Idea, and Twins,” I discussed a hypothetical service that would really help me remember what was said during a cell-phone conversation. A key component of the service would be the simplicity—every time you made or received a call on your cell phone, the phone would … Read more

The Caroline Vault: Dilution

Jamey has to dilute pretty much everything he drinks—alcohol, soda, and yes, even the drink of choice for toddlers, juice. The first time I saw him do this, I couldn’t believe my eyes…and yet now I’m used to it. Jamey pours himself a glass of juice, adds water (to quote him, it’s “3/5 juice, 2/5 … Read more