Failed Resolutions

Jon Voight Exercise Video

This is currently a hot item on Amazon. It’s been remastered from the original, which apparently was made when Voight was much more svelte.

Short Story Rejection Update

About 40 days ago, I sent out 4 of my short stories to 12 different literary magazines (1 per magazine). I wrote about this here. So far I’ve heard back from 5 of them, all rejections. I’m not discouraged—I’ve heard this is normal. My only fear is that I’m actually a really bad writer and don’t have any chance of getting published, but I hope that’s not the case. We’ll see. Also, I want to give a shout-out to the editor of Mobius Magazine, Fred Schepartz, the only editor so far to provide me with feedback. I thanked Fred for his help via e-mail, and he mentioned that he recently published a novel, which actually looks pretty decent. I’ve only read one vampire novel, Elizabeth Kostova’s The Historian, but I might give Fred’s book a try.

2007 New Year’s Resolutions

The previous topic merges well into this topic, so I’ll mention this list here.

Do sit-ups with Caroline every other day.
Status: FAILED
Reason: A self-righteous man would blame Caroline, who has done approximately three sit-ups this year. However, it’s my own fault for not doing sit-ups myself. I’ve done a number of them—maybe 73 days of sit-ups—but definitely not 182 day’s worth.

Watch TV only while eating/multitasking.
Status: FAILED
Reason: I was actually quite successful at this for a while, but that merely meant that I was eating a lot more than normal (which, for my skinny frame, isn’t all that bad). But there are times when I’m not hungry, but my thirst for entertainment persists. Also, sometimes I like to do other things when I eat, like talk to Caroline or the cats, so when am I going to watch 30 Rock? After the food, of course.

Finish my novel.
Status: FAILED
Reason: I didn’t finish the damn thing. Just part of it. Maybe 2/5s of it. I have until August of this year. I will not fail.

Get published.
Status: FAILED
Reason: No one accepted my work. I’m actually not all that disappointed about this failed resolution, because I actually tried. I wrote, I revised, and unlike previous years, I sent out stories. I feel good about this one, and I will prevail this year, even if it means selling out and asking Oprah to endorse my stories.

2008 New Year’s Resolutions

Nothing grand here, just more of the same. Finish the novel. Get published. Eat less frozen food. Give more, take less. Be a better listener (that’s a good one, an important one for me. I’ve become really good at looking like I’m listening, and transitively, my actual listening skills have plummeted). Learn to talk to clients/donors on the phone (currently my IQ drops 80 points when I’m on the phone). Stop gesticulating when I’m on the phone with clients/donors—they can’t see me. Learn to be less critical of people, especially those I care about. Give my parents my full attention when I talk to them. Fart 20% less. Write every day, whether it be blog, fiction, or anecdotal. Again, watch TV only while eating/multitasking. Vote. Writer shorter blogs. Touch my hair/face less. Speak not about others behind their back, however innocent it may seem. Learn what words mean and how to pronounce them.

(Endnote: The Jon Voight video isn’t actually real. Well, it’s real, but it’s made by someone named Karen Voight. When I first saw it [for some reason, Amazon put this on its “recommended items” list for me], I mixed up Jon Voight and Christopher Walken in my head. Thinking that the video was made by Walken, I was like, “Yeah, I could see him making that.”)


My Favorite Movies I Watched in 2007

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