New Year’s Resolutions Update

A month has passed since 2007 melted into 2008, so it’s time that I should check in on my new year’s resolutions. I have a feeling I’m not doing so well, but let’s see.

Finish the novel. Status: Horrible. Excuse: I could say that I’ve been really busy at work—which I have—but that’s no excuse. This is extremely important to me, so I’ve gotta get back to writing.

Get published. Status: Poor. Excuse: No one accepted my short stories. I have a few out, but I’m not keeping my hopes up. I’ll give this another try, though, as soon as I revise my stories some more and/or write some new ones.

Eat less frozen food. Status: Decent. Reason: Honestly, the main reason is that the bulk of my frozen food came from Trader Joe’s, and now that highway 40 is under construction, it’s fairly difficult to get there. Thanks for nothing, infrastructure.

Give more, take less. Status: Decent. Reason: Working at a church and seeing all the volunteers and generous givers has definitely affected the amount that I give.

Be a better listener. Status: Fair. Reason: I still have the instinct to daydream while someone’s talking to me, but I’m getting better at checking myself and returning to the conversation.

Stop gesticulating when talking to clients/donors on the phone. Status: Fair. Reason: I talk on the phone at work (for work-related things) a lot more than I’ve done in the past. The sheer amount of time I spend on the phone has improved my phone skills, but I still have a long way to go. Every now and then I catch myself giving my office wall the thumbs up. Not good.

Learn to be less critical of people, especially those I care about. Status: Fair. Reason: This is definitely a work in progress, but I’m getting better. A key part of it is spacing out my critiques/”demands,” so that it doesn’t seem like I’m always telling the person (especially Caroline) what to do.

Give my parents my full attention when I talk to them. Status: Fair. Reason: My mom caught me not doing this on the phone the other day…well, she half caught me, because I usually retain the last sentence said to me even if I wasn’t listening, and that sentence happened to be pretty important. But still, focus, man!

Fart 20% less. Status: Really bad. Excuse: I have no good excuse. Seriously. I’m definitely eating healthier this year (despite a post-Christmas sweet binge), and yet the farts are just as prevalent. I would contend that they’re less stinky, though. Caroline might disagree, especially when I give her the butt side in bed.

Write every day, whether it be blog, fiction, or anecdotal. Status: Good. Reason: The blog, mainly. The problem is, I often don’t end up writing on non-blog days. I’m trying to devote Sunday purely to writing so I have plenty of time for various mediums, but really I should be putting something down on paper every day.

Watch TV only while eating/multitasking. Status: Great. Reason: One dose writer’s strike plus one dose business at work plus one dose renewed focus on writing plus football season coming to a close means that I watch very little TV anymore. For these reasons that largely have nothing to do with me, I applaud myself.

Vote. Status: N/A. Reason: I have nothing to vote for. However, I guarantee you I will vote in the presidential election this year. For whom will I vote? The candidate with the most prominent jowls (current frontrunners: McCain and Hillary).

Writer shorter blogs. Status: Piss poor. Reason: Curses. I can write 374 words about hiding Girl Scout Cookies, for goodness sakes. Approximately 30 of those words were necessary. I’ll work on this, I promise. I just don’t like splitting longer entries like this into two shorter entries. Any thoughts on this?

Touch my hair/face less. Status: Poor. Reason: The primary reason for this was that my priest told me that he hardly ever gets sick because he rarely touches his face (hence avoiding the spreading of germs from fingers to mouth). I guess I’m not doing a very good job at this, because I got smacked in the face with a cold and a high fever this past weekend. I spent Saturday night hallucinating about the causes of Heath Ledger’s death and Sunday night sweating out dreams about balancing my church’s budget.

Speak not about others behind their back, however innocent it may seem. Status: Fair. Reason: There’s very little gossip at my work, plain and simple. Maybe there’s more than I think, but I firmly intend not to participate. Although, now that I think about it, I have brought up some non-work people in a negative light lately. Not good. I generally try to balance the negative gossip with positive gossip (“she’s horrible at communication, but boy can she tap dance!”), but that’s no excuse.

Learn what words mean and how to pronounce them. Status: Fair. Reason: It’s actually not that I’ve increased my vocabulary, but moreso that I don’t want to look like an idiot at work, so I just avoid using words I don’t understand/pronounce. However, I have pulled some great words out of nowhere, including the word “enabler” in a meeting today (no, not that kind of meeting).

Maybe I’m being too kind to myself, but it looks like I’m doing a decent job so far. I’ll keep working on these resolutions, and we’ll check in after half a year has passed.

Next Week: Lost, Lumbars, and Saving the Environment with Urine

0 thoughts on “New Year’s Resolutions Update”

  1. That’s a lot of resolutions. Maybe, like your new season TV show watching, you could cull the ones you care less about to focus on the ones you care more about. But kudos for having any in the first place. I usually just wait ’til Lent to try for any conscious effort as personal betterment, and that landmark comes particularly early this year, so I’d better get cracking.

    And my suggestion to reach your fart 20% less goal: burp 20% more. I figure that pressure’s got to come out on one end or the other.


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