The Caroline Vault: Water Bottles

In the era of the “oh so cool” Nalgene bottle, Jamey has taken a stand against conformity, homogeneity, and potable drinking water. Whenever Jamey goes anywhere, he carries water bottles with him—but not just any water bottles; Jamey uses old soda and other disposable plastic water bottles that he has refilled with water. He takes them in the car, hides them in my purse at the movie theater, and most importantly, lugs them to the airport.

When Jamey and I were leaving the apartment to fly to Richmond for Thanksgiving, he packed up his carry-on, and with a flourish, added the most rickety, mutilated plastic water bottle I’ve ever seen to his bag, then triumphantly headed for the front door. Classy guy.

Now, some of you might be thinking, “that’s really environmentally conscious of Jamey,” or “it’s so responsible to not just throw the bottles away,” and under normal circumstances, I’d agree. But not these. The water bottles Jamey uses and reuses have so many cracks and crinkles in the sides of the already flimsy plastic vessels; the labels have long since disintegrated from months of overuse; and I literally think that millions of years of evolution would whisper to any other rational person, “We’ve come this far by not drinking out of things that look like this….”

But of course Jamey has not heeded my plea—nor evolution’s—to get a more sturdy, permanent water bottle intended for reuse. So keep your eyes on what Jamey’s drinking out of the next time you see him. I guarantee you, it won’t be pretty.


How I Plan on Saving the Environment in the Future

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