Lost on Ice
(Warning: Lost spoilers.)
This episode wasn’t bad, per se, but it just wasn’t that interesting. Maybe I’m just used to watching rom coms that make two unrelated events seem connected, but it was obvious from scene one that Jin and Sun weren’t existing at the same time. But even if you didn’t catch onto that, the voiceover had already told you in the previous week’s preview that the last—singular—member of Oceanic 6 would be revealed. Son wasn’t pregnant before the island, so as soon as she called the hospital, you knew that she was the sixth.
The rest of the episode on the island was spent convincing us how great of a guy Jin is so a tear comes to our eye when we see his tombstone. Woopee. Go back and watch the Jin episodes. In some of them, we’re made to believe he’s a great guy. In some of them, the opposite. All too manipulative for my taste.
Plus, it’s made suspiciously unclear about whether or not Jin is actually deceased, or if that’s a memorial marker for the fact that he’s still on the island. Probably the former. But still. Make it clear.
The only good part of the episode was the stuff on the boat. The captain seemed to actually be telling the truth, or at least a good part of it. And the questions he posed about the 324 dead people on the fake Oceanic 815 are pretty interesting. Just how much power does Ben Linus have?
Also, Lost, if you’re going to try to surprise us with the reappearance of an old character, please try to keep it a secret. Seriously, that scene with Michael should have been filmed at least a year ago. Lost needs to think ahead!
Probably the most intriguing part of this episode was the commercial for High School Musical: On Ice. It’s fascinating to me that Disney feels the need to put every single successful movie it owns on ice. What’s so special about that? Do little kids watch Tarzan and think, “Man, I’d like to see that guy wear skates”? When your daughter saw Finding Nemo for the first time, did she tug on your shirt sleeve and beg to see those little fish try to triple lutz their way out of a solid block of ice?
Maybe I’m not understanding the novelty of watching familiar characters skate instead of walk. But really, what’s the difference? Why not just dress up a bunch of people like Lion King characters and send them out on a basketball floor to run around for a while? Or even better, send them out on the ice without skates.
However, I’d pay to see Disney produce ice versions of more adult shows like Lost or Desperate Housewives. I mean, if High School Musical makes sense on skates, why not a bunch of rugged survivors skimming around a tropical island…on ice. The one big advantage you have on ice is that everything moves faster. Instead of trudging through the jungle for days, Jack and Kate would return to their camp within a few crossovers. Hurley and Sawyer would have some intense arguments symbolized by exaggerated hand movements (everything on ice is greatly exaggerated), and Ben Linus would calmly weave figure eights among the other survivors (except during the back surgery scene, which would get messy). John Locke would maneuver his wheelchair onto the ice, timidly place one toe pick onto the surface, and suddenly spring to his feet, legs a-dancing.
Lost on Ice. Make it happen, ABC.
Matchup winners: Pirates over Maggie Moo, reversible baby clothes (definitely my best idea yet…I gotta outsource that to China) over Doubletree cookies. I’ve gone 7 for my last 7.
TiVo Clothes: A way to pause a TV show, select an item of clothing an actor is wearing, and buy it with one click
Smearable ink and personalized handwriting font: People will open any envelope that looks like someone actually wrote the address by hand–now your computer/printer can do this en masse
Investing in me:An option to buy shares of me so if I become rich and successful, you cash in your shares at a high rate of return
Amazon Kindle: Electronic book that lets you download most books immediately from anywhere