Archive for April, 2008

The God in the Machine

The God in the Machine

I read most of a decent book the other day (I say “most” because several subplots in the book were pretty banal). The primary reason I read this book is because of the concept. A group of scientists in Arizona are using the world’s largest supercollider particle accelerator to recreate the conditions present at the […]

Rebuff to the Caroline Vault

What you’re about to read, or just read, is a special treat—an unprecedented, completely unedited, second entry of The Caroline Vault in two days. Caroline actually wrote both of these entries last night; first, the one about the Georgia Peach, second, this one as a response to my alleged “censorship.” What Caroline says is the […]

Censorship in America: Stick This in Your Backpack

Readers, I’m having a few problems with my editor/publisher that I think you may sympathize with, and I am writing this blog entry as a way of venting and sharing my frustrations. I just wrote my blog entry for the Caroline Vault (about the Georgia Peach). I wrote it by hand on a piece of […]

The Caroline Vault: A Georgia Peach…and I'm not talking about the drink

Jamey and I recently went to a wedding in Savannah, Georgia (for those of you who know them, it was Dave and Lisanne’s wedding). We met up with a couple of friends while we were there and decided to go get some drinks before the rehearsal dinner. A few people ordered beers, I ordered a […]

Summer Movies: August

Pineapple Express (August 8): This is a pot movie. I’m usually not amused by pot movies because they’re so clearly written by people who were high and though anything was funny, but this is different. This is a Judd Apatow joint. It’ll be worth it just for the scene in the trailer where James Franco […]

Summer Movies: July

Hancock (July 2): As I said the other day, Will Smith doesn’t make bad movies. After seeing the trailer, this looks like a great popcorn flick. Hellboy II: The Golden Army (July 11): I really enjoyed the collision of reality and fantasy in the first Hellboy, and I expect more of the same in this […]

Summer Movies: June

You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (June 6): I had no interest in this Adam Sandler comedy until EW informed me that Emmanuelle Chriqui (Sloan in Entourage) is the leading lady. She is smoking hot, worthy of seeing on the big screen. Yeah, that’s right—I’m not above going to see a movie for a hot […]

I Am Much Smarter than Myself

Almost once a day, I am lacking some piece of information that I need. Whether it be a password, an account number, or the location of tickets to a concert, I generally don’t know the answer. It’s a good thing that I’m much smarter than myself. Whenever I don’t know a password or number or […]

2008 Spring/Summer Movie Preview

“I’m like Mozart! And you’re like that guy who was always jealous of Mozart.”“Salieri?”“No thank you—I already ate!” As you can probably tell, I love movies. Especially big-time summer event movies. But ever since the Matrix premiered in late March of 1999, “summer” has officially begun well before April showers yield to May flowers. Already, […]

Remembering Sarah Marshall

I’ve been meaning to put together a spring/summer movie preview blog entry, but that’ll have to wait for a few more days. For now, I’ll stick with a review of a movie I’ve been looking forward to for a long time: Forgetting Sarah Marshall. FSM is a funny movie. At times, and for some long […]

March of Mad Ideas: The Winner

After nearly two months (yeah, I’ll format it differently next year), we have a winner for the March of Mad Ideas. Actually, we have a tie, but I’m the tiebreaker, and I’m casting my vote for… Sunroofs with rain sensors! What’s the next step? I’m going to patent the idea, contact Toyota, and as soon […]

In Concert

Ask about my singing ability, and Caroline will be quick to tell you that she’d rather listen to a whale give birth (come to think of it, as much as I enjoy my own voice, I’m rather intrigued by the prospect as well). I’ll admit it, I’m not a good singer. I was once told […]

I Lived Through a 5.2-Magnitude Earthquake: A Survivor’s True Tale of Survival Against All Odds

At 4:37 am this morning, an earthquake measuring 5.2 (barely perceptible tremors) on the Richter scale shook the walls of my condo. 14 hours later, against all odds, I’m still alive. I am a survivor. This is my story. Caroline and I (sleeping in separate beds, divided by an impenetrable wall of Catholic doctrine) woke […]

The Final Four

“I don’t want to be the one that got away.” –Michael Scott, The Office“There was still so much left on my bucket list. So many different kinds of buckets I wanted to own.” –Tracy Jordan, 30 Rock In the NCAA men’s basketball tournament this year, there were four number one seeds vying for the top […]

Pizza-Off: Dewey's versus Pi

“It’s a dance-off. Yep, it’s a dance-off.” (Zoolander) Two weeks ago I wrote about some new pizza joints in St. Louis. After trying Katie’s Pizzaria and Pi, I included them in my overall rankings for St. Louis pizza. Dewey’s still came in first, with Black Thorn’s goopy deep dish in second, and Pi in third. […]

The Caroline Vault: In Ruins

Jamey and I went to go see The Ruins about a week ago because Jamey had read the book and wanted to see the movie. I didn’t know much about it other than it was a suspense/horror movie. Here are my thoughts about it: You’ll love this movie if you like movies about amateurs taking […]

Elite Eight

The day is here…only four matchups left. Two of the eight contenders are “their” ideas…and they’re good ones. I find it particularly interesting that those two ideas are representative of a tighter, more controlling government. I believe in the free market and capitalism, but I believe that allowing smoking in bars infringes on our right […]

MILF Island

30 Rock and The Office returned. Glory be! I haven’t laughed in four solid months in anticipation of these shows. I thought the writing seemed a bit off, as if the writers had been on some sort of a strike, but they were still pretty funny. Much better than any show with a laugh track. […]

JoshVision–The Diet Coke of Evil

To High School Me, Mike Myers was a God among men. Jamey and I would often sit at the cafeteria lunch table (“The Table” as it was so creatively known) and exchange Austin Powers quotes, saying things had “frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads” and that we’d been “frozen for thirty freakin’ years.” To […]

Sweet Sixteen

Sixteen ideas left. Twelve of them mine. Who will win? I’ve put the sweet sixteen up on this blog. This is where the men (West Virginia) get separated from the boys (Duke). Vote to determine my future and the future of the known world. I haven’t been voting unless there’s been a tie, and a […]

Seven Traits of Highly Effective Leaders

Over the last 27 years of my life, I’ve learned a lot about how to be a leader. But as I’m entering my fifth month as the Director of Operations at my current job, I know that I need to continue to improve if I’m going to make a positive impact at my workplace. So […]

One Haircut a Day for the Rest of My Life

Growing up, my father used to cut my hair. It was really easy—I’d sit on a high chair out in the garage, and Dad would shave my head with a trimmer. It’d take about 20 minutes, then we’d vacuum the floor and be done with it. Then came college. Freshman year, most of the guys […]


Matchups So the results are in for part 2 of the round of 32. Most of the matches were blowouts, with the one tie going to Microsoft Format Painter vs. Grid-System Back Scratching. I’m going to go with the latter, as Caroline scratched my back about 15 minutes ago, and it was awesome. Dead skin, […]

The Eleventh Hour in San Francisco

I had a long day at work. Like, 13 hours long. It’s going to be like this until the Gala is over, and then I’m sure I’ll crash and give my body over to whatever diseases my body has graciously been holding off for the last few months. Watch me come down with some weird […]