The Eleventh Hour in San Francisco

I had a long day at work. Like, 13 hours long. It’s going to be like this until the Gala is over, and then I’m sure I’ll crash and give my body over to whatever diseases my body has graciously been holding off for the last few months. Watch me come down with some weird strain of hoof and mouth.

Anyway, I checked my mailbox when I got home, and lo and behold, there was a letter from Random House. To be honest, I almost threw it away, thinking at first that it was from the Publisher’s Clearing House or something like that.

Fortunately, I opened it.

I won’t print the whole thing here, but basically, someone at Random House has been reading my blog since I switched to Google Blogger, and they like what they see. They mentioned a few specific entries and cited the “March of Mad Ideas.” Anyway, apparently this person has some buying power, and for lack of a better term, they’ve offered me a book deal.

Okay, okay, calm down—obviously I have to keep my day job. The advance is pretty small, and then I get a cut of the profits (a tiny cut), but I have to say, this is pretty sweet. I haven’t even gotten a short story published, and suddenly I have a friggin’ book deal! I read the letter like 10 times. I’m super excited. I seriously hope this isn’t someone playing an April Fool’s Day joke on me, because that’s going to be a huge downer when I find out.

Anyway, the letter didn’t go into specifics, but the book deal is for content similar to what I put on the blog—so-called “brilliant” ideas, random thoughts, personal anecdotes, embarrassing stories. I’m not sure yet if I’ll get to include other segments like The Caroline Vault, but I’ll ask about that. I just wanted to get the word out to my 20 loyal readers so you’ll plan on buying the book.

Sidenote: One of my favorite days—perhaps, even, my favorite day—at my old job was April Fool’s Day. Everyone had a person who they would prank, and we had some awesome pranks happen. I thought about getting my current coworkers, but I’m tucked away in the back office working on the Gala so much that they really don’t know me all that well. So as I was walking out of the office at 10:30 tonight, I had a sort of sad thought…I realized that I hadn’t been pranked. The new guy, the new boss, hadn’t been pranked. And I have to say, I was disappointed. You know in teen movies when the new guy earns the respect of his peers by taking a prank well? I wanted to be that guy. No prank, no can do. I really should have pulled a prank on myself and taken it well, but that seems kind of desperate.

Even more desperate than that? Pretending I have a book deal. April Fools! Book deal? C’mon, folks. I wish.

2 thoughts on “The Eleventh Hour in San Francisco”

  1. I fell into the same boat as you this April Fools. Not a single prankster dared come close to me at work. Now to my colleague’s credit, I do work in an office that can prove a bit stressful, occasionally uptight and always focused; you have to be that way with my boss. But what better day then April Fools to show your silly side and have no one question your intentions or mental stability? I left work with no foolish stories to share, but to my luck you pulled through for me. Kind of. Since you really didn’t post until 12:45 your April Fools opportunity had really passed. I’ll allow the technicality though since I had no other April Fools experience. As I read your words, as I do faithfully every morning between my morning coffee, newspaper reading and email checking (you have one more committed reader than you realized), I was really getting excited for you. I was already questioning where I could buy it, would I even be able to afford it, or if I’d be so lucky to get a signed copy. Then it hit me, the clincher, April Fools. I’m so very gullible. Or maybe I’m not; maybe it was simply your persuasive wording and what seemed like genuine emotion that led me to your April Fools trap. Anyone would have been convinced.

  2. Thanks for your post, anonymous. Do I know you? Either way, I’m glad I got someone on April Fools Day 🙂


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