Archive for August, 2008

Potent Quotables

Okay, I have to share this. Plus I’m lazy and don’t feel like writing much tonight. This little bit from the August issue of GQ made me laugh outloud. It’s from an interview with Russell Brand, the English actor who played the titular character’s wacky new boyfriend in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. The Funniest Word: “It’s […]

Every Idiot Has a T-Shirt Idea

I wanted a Kelly green shirt. That’s the premise. Does every Kelly green shirt need to be about incest? Not necessarily. But I liked the rhyme, and the premise made me laugh. So I hopped on over to and put together this little ditty. The one thing I have yet to figure out is […]

Mad Men

I can’t take it anymore. I have to write about this show. Honestly, I wish I could talk like the men on Mad Men. They’re advertising executives, many of them (“mad men” is a combination of “ad men” and “Madison-Avenue men”), so they’re supposed to know how to use words well, but the writers of […]

Things I Learned at the Lake House

I hung out with a few friends this weekend at a lake house north of Chicago. I thought I’d share a few crucial pieces of information I learned up there (and at IKEA on the way back). Beach balls melt. More specifically, if you try to seal a small hole in a beach ball by […]

The Urine-Mobile

I’ve done it. I’ve invented a fuel-less, emissions free car that will run for thousands of miles without needing to stop. Not even for a bathroom break. Okay, to clarify: I haven’t invented this car. But I thought of it, and I’m going to devote the rest of this evening to figuring out the complex […]

The Capitalist and the Bags

Yesterday I went to checkout at Straub’s, a local grocer, and realized I had forgotten my canvas bags in the car. I didn’t have much—a steak, two boxes of mac and cheese (Caroline had a craving), tikka masala simmer sauce, and a bottle of club soda—so I told the bagger that I’d carry everything to […]

JoshVision: Question of the Day

QOD: Who would you rather encounter in a dark alley: A man with a gun, or a man with a bow and arrow? A: I take each and every QOD extremely seriously and thus wanted to conduct all of the necessary research on this particular one, so last night I headed downtown to get my […]

The Rum Jumbley

I’m a beer drinker, plain and simple. Wasn’t always that way, but now when I want to have a drink, a beer is the object of my desire. However, every once in a while I desire a beverage that’s sweet, fruity, and refreshing (see Georgia Peach). This proved to be the case at the beach […]

The Truth About the Olympics

I haven’t written anything about the Olympics so far. Not that you’re for lack of content on the web about the worldwide games. Michael Phelps’ face is plastered on every major website, and there are constant updates and speculations about the events going on. I try not to get into the Olympics primarily because it’s […]

How to Pick Up a Girl Without Really Trying

The story I have to tell is actually about how a girl I don’t know picked up a guy I do know without really trying (not that girls have to try all that hard…but this girl took the easiest route possible), but the lesson to be learned is how to reverse this technique so that […]

A Man of the Cloth in a Roundtable Discussion

There’s a company in St. Louis called Peters Marketing Research that conducts surveys and roundtable discussions with consumers about various products. I participated in such a discussion a few years ago about my condo building, and I enjoyed the experience. It was fun, casual, and we got paid. Recently I got an e-mail from Peters […]

JoshVision: Question of the Day

QOD: At weddings, the groom slips his hands up the brideʼs dress and pulls out the garter. So in turn, why doesnʼt the bride extract the bouquet from the groomʼs pants? A: While it’s not exactly a tit for tat (pardon the pun) arrangement to have the bride retrieving her bouquet from the trousers of […]

Max and Francesco

“We know the Iowa’s state, it’s in the Midwest, it’s true? We know very well the U.S.A. geography! We love America very much!! your country is very wonderful!!” –Max and FrancescoWhen my brother was in high school, he took a summer trip to Italy with some classmates. While he was hanging out on his hotel […]

The Segway Tour

I’ve been on vacation the last 10 days, mostly at the beach in North Carolina, but partially in Richmond. On the first Saturday of the vacation, I met my soon-to-be-betrothed friend from high school, Bryce, and 13 of his friends for a very unique bachelor party: A tour of Richmond on Segways. If you’ve never […]