Def Comedy Jam

Two great lines from a Def Comedy Jam comedy show I attended recently (yes, there were other white people there):

One: “Is this it?” (The comedian said this after coming onto stage and realizing that the auditorium was only about halfway full.) “We could have done this over the phone!”

Two: “Are you ever in the middle of a text message when you realize you can’t spell one of the words? So you have to go back and change the whole message. ‘Lashanda, even though we had a good time last night, I don’t appr…a-p-p-r-….’ Damn. ‘Lashanda, I’m not happy that you kept flirting with that waiter last night. We sure did have a good time though, didn’t we, girl?’”

At least, that’s pretty close to how the routine went. There was also a good line about how if you’re watching football with a girl and she comments on how a certain player’s butt looks, you’ll notice that butt for the rest of the game, even when you’re trying to watch the play.

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