Black Thorn Review: Of Mice and Pizza
I had this whole glowing review written in my head even before I arrived at the Black Thorn Pub (St. Louis) on Friday. I’d been there before, so I was fully prepared to rave about their pizza and their shuffleboard table, insist that you go there, and further insist that you share a few slices with me.
But even the best laid plans of mice and men go array…when you discover a dead mouse next to the aforementioned shuffleboard table.
In fact, not only was there a dead mouse there, it had been there long enough for someone to write “smoking kills” on an index card and place it next to the mouse. Did this stop us from playing shuffleboard? Of course not. A little mouse isn’t enough to do that. A dead rat? Maybe. A dead opossum or raccoon? Definitely.
The thing about the Black Thorn is that it takes about two hours after you order to get your pizza. That’s not an exaggeration. So you should call in your order well in advance and then eventually come by to eat it. Because if you get there too early, you’ll look around and realize that you’re in a dive bar. Not the fun kind of dive bar where the locals look at you dubiously at first and then come around to like you and and give you playful wedgies give you crazy nicknames (like “Saddle Dragon” or “Fruit of the Loom”) and buy you beers and talk to you while you pee. I’m talking about the other kind of dive bar, the kind where the only server in the entire place is the bartender (and he doesn’t even want to talk to you), you smell like smoke after 3 minutes, and there’s a dead mouse on the floor.
No, my friends, that’s the kind of dive bar where you get your pizza takeout from now on.
(Oh, and the pizza is excellent–go with the deep dish and expect to eat no more than two slices before you’re full.)