No, it’s not the name of a new Spice Girl. It’s the label I’m putting on the remaining fourth of a bottle of Old Spice aftershave in my bathroom. Here’s why.
Last week, I got out of the shower, put on Old Spice deodorant (Pure Sport…why this detail matters I do not know. I just like to feel sporty in the morning), and slapped some Old Spice (original) aftershave on my neck. I’ve been using this bottle of aftershave for a couple months now–it lasts a long time.
As I air-dried my way over to my closet, I noticed a foul smell in the air. It smelled…like skunk. I moved around, trying to evade the smell, but I couldn’t escape it. It was then that I realized the smell was part of me. It was the aftershave.
It was…Skunky Spice.
Yep, the Old Spice aftershave went bad. I didn’t know aftershave could do that. To add insult to injury, I didn’t get any other aftershave for the next few days, so I continued to wear Skunky Spice, albeit in small doses (it’s like I insulted myself and then injured myself–completely self-inflicted).
I did walk away from this tragedy on higher ground, as I obtained God’s gift to women, Acqua di Gio. Aftershave of the angels. Sweat of the unicorn. Mist of Shangri-La. I’m not really all that fond of the smell, but an informal survey of two women (standard deviation: + or – 2) confirmed that it’s the best smell ever. One of them said–and I quote–“If I smell Acqua di Gio on a man, it makes me want to cut off his skin and wear it as my own.” Odd, but true.
What do I do if the Acqua di Gio goes the route of the skunk? Let’s hope that never happens.
Oh, I also thought of another smell I like for women: funnel cake. So good!