I’m hosting my fifth annual Festivus party this weekend. Guests are asked to bring their grievances for the year so they can air them on posters I put up around the condo, per Seinfeld tradition. I encourage grievances of the humorous sort, as you can see below. These are the top grievances of 2006, to be followed tomorrow by the top grievances of 2007. I’ll have a countdown next week of the top grievances of 2008. If you’re unable to attend Festivus or don’t know me, feel free to post your 2008 grievances on the comment board.
10. None of my 2005 grievances made Jamey’s “Top Ten”-list.
9. Your Mom [to which someone else incorrectly grieved, “People who can’t spell “you’re.”]
8. Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen: For overshadowing Horace Grant during those championship years.
7. The abbreviation “Xmas” for Christmas. How does “Christ” possibly equal X?!
6. Lil’ Bow Wow dropping the “Lil’”
5. Panty lines! [complete with explanatory illustration]
Top 4 Festivus Grievances of 2006 (Feel free to grieve my indecisiveness, but I equally liked the following four grievances.)
The Lesser Antilles. Why can’t you be more like the Greater Antilles?
Spinach—Thanks for crapping out on us this year and leaving us with nothing but arugula.
Pluto—not a planet? You let me down!