Pet Please #3: The Perfect Screw

It’s not perfect every time you do it. You can try eight, nine times in a night, hoping for that level of perfection. You can use different positions, different speeds, various twists and turns, but each time is unique. You can’t be too mechanical about it, or it’s just not going to work out.

I’m talking, of course, about perfectly unscrewing an Oreo cookie.oreo_full

Personally, I’m an all-on-one-side, none-on-the-other guy. When that happens, I dip the side with no cream into a glass of milk, soften it, and do my best to enjoy it. It’s okay. But it’s merely an apperatif to what is to follow, a full side of cream. That side I moisten with milk and savor, bite by bite, until I can dip no further.

Then I roll the dice and try again.

0 thoughts on “Pet Please #3: The Perfect Screw”

  1. I’ve never been a huge Oreo fan, or an ice cream sandwich fan for that matter (which I think has a similar type of chocolate cracker/cookie essence to it).

    But I can empathize with this feeling because when I eat almonds, I always bite them right down the center. Sure, sometimes I don’t get it dead center, but there’s the times that I do, the times when the inside of the almond is a perfectly smooth surface that feels so amazing against my tongue. Mmm.

  2. That’s very specific, but very good. I bet a lot of foods fall into this category. Like when you “open” a banana and the top part snaps off crisply and cleanly the first time you apply pressure. Or when you take off an orange peel in one slice. Or when you eat that perfect kernel of popcorn at the theater.


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