Who the Hell Is Nancy? Part 2

So now you know that I’m a legal drug dealer—a pill pusher.  What else do I deem somewhat interesting enough to share, you ask?

My Ethnicity: I’m Egyptian

Ok, let me explain.  I wasn’t born in Egypt.  My parents were born and raised in Alexandria.  My parents have your typical “how we met” story involving my father coning the Egyptian government into releasing him from serving in the Egyptian army for “medical reasons,” moving to Europe with $40 dollars in his pocket, selling newspapers in the streets of Austria in the dead of winter, being courted by a gay man that dad claims “really looked like a woman,” and saving enough money to move to the U.S.  He finally returned to Egypt to visit his family, met my mom at church, and asked for her hand in marriage that day.  They wrote letters for a year until dad could go back to Egypt, marry her, and return to America with her.

Being Egyptian and being raised in that culture has allowed me lots of opportunities.  First of all, I was the most popular girl in school (no I wasn’t…I was weird and awkward and everyone was scared of my father because he had/has a mustache and wore aviator eye glasses).  I got invited to the best parties (no I didn’t.  My curfew was 11:30pm…still is).  I travel through airports with ease (no I don’t.  I get searched b/c I’m brown).  I’ve learned a lot about my heritage and I embrace it. 

So I wanted to share the most common questions I get asked when people find out that I’m Egyptian:

Question #1: So have you ever been to Egypt?  Have you seen the pyramids? Do people live in pyramids?

Me:   Yes, yes, and really?  My entire extended family still lives there.  We used to go every other year growing up.  The pyramids and Sphinx are fascinating (and currently unoccupied).  Just make sure you’re with someone who speaks Arabic or else you might get sold to a local for 50 camels. 

Question #2: Do the dumpsters behind the cafeteria on Washington University’s campus really smell like Egypt?

Me: Why yes!  How did you know that?  If you want to get a feel for what Egypt smells like, take a walk by the dumpsters.  

Question #3: Have you seen that video “Walk Like an Egyptian?”  Do people in Egypt really walk like that?

Me: Really?  Is that a serious question?

Feel free to post any questions you might have on the comments board!

0 thoughts on “Who the Hell Is Nancy? Part 2”

  1. What do you think of Omar Sharif’s performance in Lawrence of Arabia?

    Have you ever been to Hatshepsut Temple?

    I’ve just landed in Cairo for a week. Where do I get some BBQ?

    Mubarak . . . hot or not?

    Lower Egypt is north of Upper Egypt . . . WTF?

    Have you ever smashed a oud a la Pete Townshend?

    Napoleon . . . what was his freakin’ problem?

    Why does my back hurt right now? Can I get a backiotomy?

    Will I ever accomplish my dream and learn to play the oud?

    . . . just oh so curious . . .

  2. “My parents were born and raised in Alexandria.”

    With Jamey being from Virginia, you might want to specify VA or Egypt when making that statement. (Yes, I realize if you keep reading it becomes obvious.) After all, I worked in Alexandria for 2 1/2 years and never saw any pyramids. Just a big, weird Masonic monument.

    Do Sudanese or Libyans walk similarly to Egyptians? Maybe with a little less bend at the elbow?

  3. Bryce–Actually I do speak hieroglyphics! So does Jamey! After the game of Risk, I gave him the bird and he knew exactly what it meant!

  4. Anonymous (Trevor)–I will only answer the questions I want to answer. To answer your first two questions, did you just google Egypt to see what came up and then asked me about it?

    The geographics of Egypt is so strange, isn’t it? You’re right, lower Egypt is north of upper Egypt. And apparently when people say they are going to BFE, they’re not really going to Egypt!!

    Best BBQ in town: Hashesh’s Smokehouse (slogan: taking care of the stray animal crisis so you don’t have to)

    Mubarak–you really have to ask?? HOT!

    Concerning your back–stop offering pony rides to every child that walks by you!!

  5. Bob–Come on now! Pay attention! I had previously made the comment that I was Egyptian. Why on earth would you think Virginia??

    And about Sudanese and Libyans and the way they walk. They actually have the same arm movements (with the exception that their hands are bent towards the sky instead of straight ahead like us Egyptians roll. I actually heard it’s from carpal tunnel. And it’s the weirdest thing. Their knees actually bend inward instead of outward like everyone else in the world (similar to an ostrich). It’s very odd, but we’re not here to judge, Bob.

  6. Where is my MM so I can smoke it in my Sheesha?

    Also, very nice explanation of the difference between our walk and the Sudanese & Libyans. If you ever go to the Valley of the Kings or Hatshepsut’s Temple (Yes, I have been there), you will see illustrations of all various walks. They look like idiots compared to us.

    Anonymous – We all have cool names like that. My true name is Youseffkhamen. And you will never accomplish your dream of playing the Oud unless you are brown. Sorry!


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