Who the Hell Is Nancy? Part 3

Nancy

Ok…so I’m a pill-pushing Egyptian.  A drug dealer from the Land of the Pharaohs.  King Tut’s apothecary.  So that leaves one more interesting fact to share.

My aspiration: To play the guitar and get a gig at a local bar

So you’re probably thinking that since I’m a pharmacist, my aspiration would be to find a cure for cancer or invent a pill that makes flatulence smell like freshly baked apple pie.  Or maybe you’re thinking that since I’m Egyptian, my aspiration would be to work towards ending the oppression of women in Middle Eastern countries or finding more uses for hummus, such as body moisturizer, dog shampoo, or hemorrhoid cream.  But if that’s what you’re thinking, you’re wrong.  

I want to be that person playing the guitar and singing in the corner of the bar you frequent.  I don’t know how to play the guitar yet, but I have my first lesson tomorrow evening (Jamey’s Christmas present to me).  Jamey seems to think that after a month of lessons, I’ll be able to rock out to “Stairway to Heaven.”  I’ve informed him that if he’s lucky, I’ll be able to bust out some “Kumbaya” or “Row Your Boat.”   

I have had some experience singing in public.  My first experience was in the fourth grade when I was asked to sing [“Reach Out and Touch Somebody’s Hand”-Diana Ross] in the school play that our entire elementary school would be attending.  I never once practiced out loud.  I assumed that singing the song in my head was just as effective.  When the day came, I walked out on stage and began my solo.  I immediately saw my elementary school crush sitting in the front row laughing hysterically.  I ran off stage crying before I could even get to the first chorus/refrain.  It was horrifying. 

I have numerous other performances on my record, including some wild nights at karaoke bars that inevitably result in me singing “Welcome to the Jungle” at the top of my lungs.

Despite my past performance, I believe I’m ready to give it another shot.  Here is my first playlist:

Walk on the Ocean-Toad the Wet Sprocket

I’m Yours-Jason Mraz

Free Fallin’-Tom Petty

Everyday-Dave Matthews Band

Another Lonely Day-Ben Harper

Santeria-Sublime

Is This Love-Bob Marley

Crazy-Ray Lamontagne

This Love-Maroon 5

Ragoo-Kings of Leon

9 Crimes-Damien Rice

By Your Side-Sade

Carolina In My Mind-James Taylor

Where I Stood-Missy Higgins

Three More Days-Ray Lamontagne

Black-Pearl Jam

I Can’t Make You Love Me–Bonnie Raitt

Beautiful Thing–Sister Hazel

Have You Seen Me Lately (acoustic version)–Counting Crows

 

Thoughts/Suggestions??

3 thoughts on “Who the Hell Is Nancy? Part 3”

  1. Ok, couple of comments.

    First, I think this particular entry is incredibly important as it brings to the light the pressing social issue of pharmaceutical research. Far too much time and energy is being wasted on trying to create pills that make flatulence smell like apple pie when the market clearly shows that public demand favors cinnamon rolls. Government funds MUST be redirected away from apple pie smelling farts to cinnamon roll smelling farts! That, my friends, is a change we can believe in.

    As to your set list, I have but one word for you: FREEBIRD!!!

    Finally, I assume you were joking about the hummus hemorrhoid cream cause I tried that about two weeks ago and it did not work…at all!

    Reply
  2. I have to say that I would prefer Krispy Kreme Donuts. You know everytime you drive by one and the “Hot & Now” sign is on, you go to a better place.

    Also, when and IF I finally get home…I can help you out with about 60% of your playlist. We might have to get on skype for some of your lessons. How about adding some Hendrix to the list?

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Discover more from jameystegmaier.com

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue Reading