Newsflash: Watched Pot Boils in Area Home

stove_with_potST. LOUIS, Missouri (AP) – Eloise Bermann has been cooking her trademark chicken noodle soup for 43 years. Yesterday, February 16, 2009, she witnessed a watched pot boiling for the first time.

“I turned on my show,” she said, referring to Dallas, “but I had already seen the episode. So I started watching the stovepot. I guess I was bored.”

The pot in question was a red ceramic pot, 12 inches in diameter. Bermann recalled that she left the top off “for no reason in particular.”

“I just stood there, staring at it. I assumed nothing would happen, because, you know what they say.”

“After a certain point I just decided, what the heck, I’m not going to look away.”

Bermann noted that she had the gas set on high. 

“After about 5 minutes, the water started to bubble,” she said, dicing celery on a Formica countertop. “Then it boiled.”

There is no way to confirm the validity of Bermann’s claim. It’s not the first time an housewife has claimed to have witnessed a pot boiling after watching it from the inception of the heating process. There was the famous Brunswick Stew Hoax in 1963, followed by a string of copycat boilers. Henley Stewart (the same Stewart who swears that he saw the little box on his screensaver bounce precisely into the corner of his screen) claimed to have watched several pots boil, but he could never prove it. A 2008 YouTube video appeared to show a man and his cat staring at a pot until it boiled, but after several investigations, the man admitted that he spliced in footage from a Top Chef episode.

Bermann concedes that she may have looked away for a second or two. “At most,” she said. “Oh Lordy, I don’t know what I saw!”

Bermann’s husband could not be reached for comment, as he was busy watching Letterman.

Copyright 2009 The Ass Press.

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