Mythical Animal Fight Club, Round 1

I’m exhausted, so I’ll keep this short and simple today:


No Responses to “Mythical Animal Fight Club, Round 1”

  1. Bob says:

    Can’t stop the horn.

  2. Josh says:

    Because they’re both magical. Geez.

  3. Tolles says:

    Is this for reals? There is no contest here. The unicorn’s only talent is the ability to sweat glitter and fart rainbows, if that’s even a talent. It is useless as a fighting beast. Try and charge the sasquatch and the sasquatch will just rip off the unicorn’s horn and then use it to stab the unicorn in the eye. A sasquatch will wield that thing like he’s a prisoner with a sharpened toothbrush handle. But I don’t even think it would get that far since the unicorn would be scared off by the sasquatch’s mating howl. That unicorn better hope it can prance away before the sasquatch can catch up and consummate the relationship. (Writer’s Note: The term for the offspring of a sasquatch and a unicorn is a unisquatch. It’s like a really hairy, horned pony. With claws.)

    • Tolles–As humorous as your reply is, I think you’re forgetting about the magical powers embedded in a unicorn’s horn. The horn, if I may quote Darwin, “can bestow life or taketh away.” In a fight, surely it would taketh life away. The sasquatch has one chance to break off that horn without being pricked by the tip. If that happens, it’s dead within seconds.

      • Tolles says:

        That’s a good point. Darwin does say that about unicorns as does the Bible, obviously. Unicorn horns are also booby trapped. You ever see Judge Dread? You know how Sylvestor Stallone’s gun is booby trapped so that if someone else tries to use it the gun administers an electric shock? A unicorn horn is like that. But it better be one hell of an electric shock or else it’s just going to make the sasquatch angry. Then, it’s stabbin’ time!

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