Google to Discontinue Gmail

MOUNTAIN VIEW, California (AP) – Search engine behemoth Google announced today that it will no longer continue to offer one of its beta products, Google Mail (widely known as “Gmail”).

“We test out many different products in an effort to diversify the Google brand,” said spokesperson Linda Antello. “This is one experiment that just didn’t work out.”

Google has offered its mail service since 2004 and, until yesterday, had millions of users worldwide. The company will start phasing out customers based on birthdate, starting with its older users, “because they probably wouldn’t be using it much longer anyway,” Antello said.

Gmail is the latest in a long string of Google Apps to get the axe. In the last 6 months alone, Google has discontinued Google Video, Google Stationary, Google SportsNow, Google KittenFoto, Google Peaches, and Google Bugle.

“Our research indicates that there are many alternative e-mail services out there,” said Antello. “In this economy, sometimes you have to acknowledge that you’re losing money fighting for your slice of the pie.”

“I think Facebook e-mail works pretty well,” she added.

Copyright 2009 The Ass Press.

2 thoughts on “Google to Discontinue Gmail”

  1. Damn. You got me really excited for a minute. I have a wholly unfounded hatred for Google, and you really had my hopes up until I got to “Google Kittenfoto”.


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