A Date’s Survival Guide to a 10-Year High School Reunion

This is a guest post by my girlfriend, Nancy.

So your significant other is getting old.  It’s inevitable.  Unless you’re dating Benjamin Button.  A 10-year high school reunion is in the near future and there’s a good chance that if he decides to go, you’ll be asked to go with him.  You’re not excited about your high school reunion so why would you be excited about his?  Yea, I don’t have an answer to that question.  Regardless, you love him and want to do what makes him happy so every date needs a survival guide.

1.  Dress to impress.  Dates, you’re “arm candy.”  That’s your main purpose on occasions such as these.  I’m not trying to sound sexist or shallow, but it’s true.  Who you’re with is just as important as what you’re doing after 10 years.  And if he hasn’t done anything in 10 years, you’re the best thing he’s got!  Work it.

2.  This isn’t about you.  This is his thing.  Completely his.  You shouldn’t have a say in which events you two attend.  If he wants to go to the Friday night gathering, the high school tour, the meet and greet, the formal dinner, the evening reception, the late night karaoke, the 5am Waffle House run, and the Sunday picnic, you say, “Sure babe!  Sounds like fun!”  Don’t make him feel bad for wanting to participate in all the events.

3.  If the event isn’t open bar (and you enjoy an adult beverage every once in a while), flirt with the bartender.   I’m not saying make out with him on his smoke break in the back alley.  But give him a little bit of attention because he’s not getting attention from anyone else at the event.  Chat him up a bit.  Tell him he makes the best vodka martinis.  And guess what happens?  Even though you have your significant other’s high school yearbook picture on your name tag, you just got yourself and your date free drinks!

4.  Do some research beforehand.  Find out some interesting facts about people from his graduating class so when you meet them, you have conversation starters.  It’s endearing and really goes over well.  So when you finally meet the guy who invented Google Chrome, you can let him know that Yahoo is your search engine of choice.  And when you finally meet the guy who moved to India with aspirations of becoming a Bollywood star, you can tell him, “I’m sure it’s not that hard” and show him your best ’woman at the river with her bucket getting water for her family’ move.

5.  Don’t be jealous of former girlfriends.  That’s just silly, even if you notice a pattern in the women your boyfriend likes to date.  For instance, so what if all of his former girlfriends are Asian and you’re not?  Probably doesn’t mean anything.  So what if all of his former girlfriends are petite and you’re not?  So what if he’s in the corner of the room having an intellectual conversation with his ex-girlfriends while you’re on the dance floor by yourself singing Justin Timberlake’s “Love Stoned” and twirling around.  He’s with you for a reason.  Right, Jamey?  Right?!?!?

6. Mingle with your kind.  Your kind = other dates.  Approximately 35-40% of the people at this event are in the same boat  as yourself.  You all don’t know anyone else.  So get to know each other.  It gives your date a chance to mingle with his kind without having a little puppy following him around.  And it’s amazing what strangers will tell you about their current relationships!

If all else fails, just wear Sex Panther cologne.  It’s made with bits of real panther.  They’ve done studies, you know.  60% of the time, it works every time.

4 thoughts on “A Date’s Survival Guide to a 10-Year High School Reunion”

  1. Awesome post. I laughed out loud a few times. Did #3 actually happen? Going as a date sounds like a great time. Perhaps at the 20 year reunion (if they have those), I can go as Jamey’s date to mix it up a bit. I’m not afraid to slap a man’s ass in public and call him, “sweet cheeks” for the good of an elaborate ruse.

    PS–Nancy, I consider you petite.


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