Random Threesome: His Side

Fellow blogger Penelope and I are answering the following three random questions on our blogs today, each of us answering from our unique male/female perspectives.

1. What if you were sitting on a flight, getting ready for take off, and they found a problem with the plane and had everyone de-board because the plane was going to take at least three hours to fix?

I’d be annoyed. I basically have no faith in airlines, so it wouldn’t be completely unexpected. I’d actually be somewhat happy that they let us deboard so we could go to the bathroom and get food. I’d spend the extra time reading, chatting on the phone, and people watching.

2. What if your significant other told you they didn’t want to exchange Christmas gifts?

I’d be ecstatic! I’m completely tired of the rampant commercialism during the holiday season. To me, Christmas is about being with people you love (and, if you’re Christian, celebrating Jesus’ birthday), not about buying and receiving tons of stuff you don’t need. If a significant other told me they were on that page too, I’d be so attracted to them that I’d do naughty things to her on the spot.

3. What if you received a phone call that a close family member had been in a car accident but there weren’t any other details available?

No details? I’d struggle with no details. I like details. But if there truly were no details–just that a family member had gotten in an accident and was being taken to the hospital–well, I’d probably wait for more details. I’m not the type of person to rush to someone’s side. I think some people do that out of genuine concern, while others do it because they feel helpless and need to feel like they’re doing something. If I can help, I’m there. But if not, I understand. I’d fly out to the hospital if I could be of assistance. This probably ties into the love languages a bit too. I wouldn’t want people rushing to my side, but I’d like to know that they care. If people fly in to take care of me, I’d end of feeling like I had to entertain or host them, which would actually cause me more stress than if I had to struggle to take care of myself. But like the love languages, I have to understand that other people are different than me.

Now go see how Penelope’s answers differed from mine.

What are your answers? Do you have any questions like this that you’d pose for this type of a blog entry?


13 Responses to “Random Threesome: His Side”

  1. Josey says:

    Okay, I ended up clicking over and reading your love languages post first. Anyone who hasn’t learned about the 5 Love Languages simply MUST!

    At any rate, the concept completely explains #2 for me. I am 100% on your page Jamey…and 100% NOT on Penelope’s on this. She said, [I’m fairly certain every guy in America knows that, “Honey, let’s not give gifts this year” does NOT mean, “Honey, let’s not give gifts this year.”]… but for me, it honestly DOES mean that, and my husband would NEVER go for it! LOL. I think you hit it on the head with the comparison to the Love Languages for how people react to situations.

    That being said, I’m all on Penelope’s side of the fence for #1. 🙂

  2. Jamey Stegmaier says:

    I read Penelope’s answer for #1, and I was like, why didn’t I think of this? I’m not the type of person to sit around and let other people fix things for me. But for this question (Penelope wrote the questions), I honestly didn’t think that we had the choice of booking other flights. If I thought we had the chance of getting a ticket on a different plane, I would definitely do that.

    In relationships, I think it’s really important to say what you really mean, even if it’s hard. If you say, “Honey, let’s not give gifts,” I really hope that’s what you mean. Same thing for if you say, “Nothing’s wrong” (I’ve heard that SO many times when clearly something is wrong).

    Thanks for the comment on Love Languages as well–my suggestion for your husband would be to just read about the concept of Love Languages a little bit (even online). I don’t think it’s a hard concept to grasp…it’s just something you wouldn’t normally think of if someone didn’t point it out to you. I’m a HUGE fan of the concept–not just for romantic relationships, but for friends and family too.

  3. T-Mac says:

    #1: My answer is a combo of both yours and Penelope’s. I’d string out a few annoyed curses that would make a sailor blush while on my way to rebook. Unfortunately, this has happened to me enough though that it no longer induces any kind of panic.

    #2: I would try to talk her into gift exchanging. I love giving and receiving gifts, and even though I see your point about Christmas being more about enjoying time with loved ones, I think most people who say they don’t want to exchange gifts do so because they don’t want to go out and find/buy gifts, not because they’re trying to focus on the true meaning of a holiday. For me, the holidays are a time to spend time with loved ones and to show you know what makes a person feel special by finding something meaningful to him/her (an object, experience, etc).

    #3: Does it make me a bad person if I generally accept such a phone call, express my concern and offer support/assistance, and tend to forget about the situation/problem once I’m off the phone? (You don’t have to answer that.) I’ll just say that I’m horribly disconnected with events outside the city I’m living in. Currently, if it’s not happening in St. Louis, it’s not happening in my life. My apologies to the rest of the world.

  4. Jamey Stegmaier says:

    Awesome, thanks for your answers, Trev. Very interesting point about exchanging gifts. I think part of the reason why someone might say that is due to the expense of gifts, which could be avoided by exchanging something more meaningful.

  5. Anne Riley says:

    I love these posts! You guys are awesome. It’s so cool to see your side of things. Hate to say it, but I’m definitely with Penelope on these answers!

  6. Ashlyn says:

    I feel bad because it seems like all I do is disagree with you on your blog but I really do appreciate what you write but #2…c’mon! Christmas is about giving, and not giving something that rewards you in return (:cough, cough: naughty things that feel nice to both parties). Selfless gifts don’t have to be expensive.

    I do love the his/her side posts, but I’m siding with Penelope of this one!

    • Jamey Stegmaier says:

      Ha ha… you really gave it to me in the comments section today! I should clarify–I’m all for the act of giving. However, I personally don’t need more STUFF. I’d say that most people in my demographic fall into that category. And yet Christmas has become one massive exchange of STUFF. Why can’t it be simplified a little bit? Instead of five gifts, why not just one?

      My other point was about saying what you mean in relationships. I’m a little surprised so many people take the approach of saying one thing but wanting something else. Why not just say what you want to the one you love?

      • T-Mac says:

        I’m with you on that point at the bottom. Anyone who doesn’t say what they mean is just asking for confusion and letdown. I will add that people should say what they mean in as nice of a way as possible and that occasionally things really are better left unsaid, but it always makes me feel bad to think that someone agrees with me and later find out that he/she was just going along with what would make me happy (for instance, if I were to ask not to give gifts for a holiday…which I would never do).

      • @JMJKDulce says:

        Generally, I think people don’t say what they actually mean because:

        1) They don’t want to hurt the other persons feelings
        2) They don’t want to bring on anymore conflict
        3) It doesn’t occur to them to clarify the statement

        In the moment, especially if we’re upset, we are about self-preservation. Revisiting the disagreement/argument is the most important part if understanding isn’t obtained. That also separates men from boys and empathetic women from self-righteous ones.

        I am HUGE on communication, so if I was told “Let’s not exchange gifts”, I would ask for an explanation. If the answer were genuine like yours and not about laziness, I wouldn’t have a problem. Actions can definitely speak louder than STUFF on this one.

  7. Red says:

    Sorry Jamey, it’s been a while.
    1) I’d probably sit around until whatever needed to be fixed would be fixed. I don’t travel much for business, and I alot myself PLENTY of time when traveling for pleasure (probably becuase I do it less than once a year).
    2. I’d be ok with it, but I’d definately cheat, and have something small but nice in a closet just in case. If nothing else, I have the next birthday present ready.
    But I’d pose another question,(And I guess this goes with having most of my family in the same city as me), what if the significant other wanted you to spend Christmas with JUST them (presents or no)?
    I’d have a really hard time with this. I have never spent a complete Christmas away from my family. Even though I know mom will have her break down Christmas Eve, and Uncle Mike will passive agressively show up as late as possible, and leave as soon as dessert is over, that’s part of being together. taking the good with the bad.
    3. I’m presuming that you’re insinuating that this family member is out of town. If my brother (the only family I have who does not live here), was in a car accident, and I heard in a timely manner that he was on his way to the hospital, I’d pack a bag, look at flights and wait by the phone. If 12 hrs went by, and I heard nothing, I’d be on a plane. Anyone else in my family (by default in town) I’d leave work, and go to the hospital.

    • Jamey Stegmaier says:

      I like the answer to number 2 (have something just in case).

      That’s a good question about Christmas. I’ve never been asked to do that, nor have I heard of anyone asking to do that. But if it meant that much to the person, I’d consider it.

  8. @JMJKDulce says:

    For the other questions:

    1) I don’t care where I’m going, my butt would be on a different flight because I wouldn’t want to be on THAT plane again.

    3) I’d first want to know if this was a crank. “Hello, your father has been in a car accident, but that’s all I can tell you.” Umm…that doesn’t seem right. Presuming I knew roughly where the hurt person was before this call, I would make arrangements to be available at a moments notice. Then, I’d be calling everyone the hurt person and I ever knew to see if SOMETHING could be found out.

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