22 Topics to Allegedly Avoid on a First Date

There are a number of topics that are considered “taboo” to bring up on a first date. So, when should you bring up these topics? They’re great conversation fodder. And when they eventually come up, what do the answers mean? Are there any of these that are dealbreakers for you if your date’s answer isn’t the same as yours?

For me, I don’t think any of these are dealbreakers. There are some I feel strongly about, others not so much. The key for me is a date’s ability to have a decent conversation about them. Someone who can express what they think, listen to what I have to say, perhaps find some common ground, and talk about the big picture and what it means.

Here’s the list I’ve compiled. If you have any other significant topics that should be on this list, let me know and I’ll add them. Thanks to Belle for the brainstorming.

  • Gay marriage
  • Abortion
  • Euthanasia
  • Animal testing
  • Death penalty
  • Universal health care
  • Reinstating the draft
  • Abstinence-only education
  • Welfare
  • The war in Iraq
  • Political party affiliation
  • Rights of the father
  • Gun control
  • Legalizing marijuana
  • Section 8 housing
  • Religious affliation
  • Existence of God/afterlife
  • Existence of extraterrestrial life
  • Having/not having children
  • Stem cell research/cloning
  • The environment
  • Marriage

What are your big-topic dealbreakers?

13 thoughts on “22 Topics to Allegedly Avoid on a First Date”

  1. Remember when Batman (1989 Michael Keaton version) used his previously untapped scientific ability to discover that the joker was poisoning common household products like lipstick and shampoo, and that no single product alone would kill a person, but using specific combinations like deodorant and hairspray or toothpaste and hemorrhoid cream would, in fact, end your life and leave you with a wide toothy grin? Well, that’s what these topics are like for me. Disagreeing on one or two things isn’t a big deal, even though some of these are very important to me. However, disagreeing on gay marriage, abortion, euthanasia, abstinence-only education, war, politics, AND required pizza toppings would get your a first class ticket to not-gonna-date-this-guy-ville.

    • I’m a fan of anything that brings the original Batman into the conversation.

      So pizza toppings are a dealbreaker to you? I’d think you and your lady friend could just order separate pizzas, no? Do you even want her eating your pizza?

      • Ordering separate pizzas will only work for so long. It’s just not always economical. No pepperoni = no more dates. End of discussion.

        Also, I thought of another topic that I consider to be a first date no-no that is probably a dealbreaker for a lot of people: Having/not having children.

  2. See, and here I thought it was just the big 3 (supposedly NEVER ok for dinner conversationin mixed company): Religion, Money and Politics.

    • I think it’s all in how you talk about them. I think you can have a great discussion about faith, poverty, and Obama if everyone just stays calm and listens.

  3. If a guy DOESN’T talk about one of the above listed topics, he better be damn good looking to get a second date. Seriously, I enjoy spending time with people who have interesting things to say and can present articulate opinions on a wide variety of topics. It is possible to pique my curiosity with a mundane subject choice if you are passionate about that particular topic – but it’s more of a challenge.

  4. Good post, relevant to me right now as well, which is also a plus. I don’t see any of these as deal-breakers, and if the guy doesn’t bring them up then I usually do. It’s the first date, it might be the only date, so why not get to know as much about the person as you can? I don’t see it as a valuable use of my time or theirs if we avoid touchy and taboo subjects on the first date. Get it all out at first and then if there is a second date you can focus on more “fun” topics.
    I think you should have added marriage in general to the list, it’s supposedly a no-no topic of conversation on the first date. It’s somewhat of a deal-breaker to me. I mean if he says he’s against marriage and never wants to commit to someone that deeply, then I wouldn’t see him again. I’m not wanting to get married today, next year, or anytime soon, but yes sometime before I’m old and wrinkled I’d like to think I’ll be married. If the guy can’t handle the topic and give me a confident answer then he’s not someone I need to spend future time with.


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