What I Want…the Little Things

A while back, I posted my most commented and controversial post ever, What Men Want…Rather, What I Want (the play adaption is coming to Broadway in May 2011). The post involved very specific dealbreaker-type requirements for the type of woman I want.

On occasion since that fateful day, I’ve thought of little attributes for a woman to have (a woman to date me) that would be nice. They’re not dealbreakers. But they’d certainly be nice. And I’m sure this list will grow as I think of more.

I bring up this topic not just to share about myself, but to point out an odd way that we connect with people. Sometimes the little things seem so important, but when you take a step back, does it matter that your favorite song is the other person’s favorite song, or that you love Star Wars just as much as the other person? They’re lovely bonuses, and I think they trigger something in us that registers as a connection, but in the long run, they don’t matter all that much. Their cherries on top of the whipped cream of dealbreakers.

  • Likes the house warm: I keep my condo at 78 degrees. It’s not well insulated, so the actual temperature is around 74. I barely use the AC in the summer. Even if a woman doesn’t quite like those temperatures, I’d prefer that she like it warmer instead of cooler.
  • Likes to read in bed: I love, love to read in bed at the end of the day. It’s even better when there’s a lovely woman next to me. Maybe we’re crossing legs like a pretzel while we read. That’s ideal.
  • Doesn’t want a TV in the bedroom: This is the opposite of reading in bed, and I don’t like it. For me, TVs are for the living room, not for the bedroom.
  • Okay with cats: This is pretty close to a dealbreaker, because I’d be hard-pressed to give up Biddy for a woman. It would be almost impossible. It would be great to be with a woman who genuinely enjoyed Biddy instead of just putting up with him.
  • Toilet paper flap on the outside: The great debate of life: inside or outside? I’m an outside flap guy. It makes sense for dozens of reasons. I can be flexible about this, but it would be nice if you’d be an outside flap girl.
  • Likes to iron: I will literally do every chore around the house if you iron my clothes. Really. I’ll take out the trash, vacuum, clean bathrooms, empty and fill the dishwasher…if you iron my clothes. Most of my shirts are pretty wrinkly. I haven’t ironed since I moved away from home…11 years ago. Before college. I really don’t like it at all.
  • Can throw a frisbee/football really far: I love to play fetch. There’s nothing more exhilerating to me than dashing across a field or beach to just barely catch a frisbee or football. Tossing a frisbee back and forth is one thing, but I’ll get bored after a few minutes. If you can throw a frisbee or football 50+ yards, you’re my kind of girl.
  • Likes to assimilate while traveling: When some people travel, they want to see everything. They pack their days with staged photos in front of monuments. When I travel, I want to do as the natives do. I’d much rather spend a week with you in a tiny town in Italy than spending seven days rushing around between Venice, Rome, and EatPrayLoveville.
  • Likes to play strategy board games: One of my guilty pleasures is strategy board games. Settlers of Catan, Agricola, and most recently, Railways of the World. Social games like Cranium, Taboo, and Apples to Apples are okay, but I love the brain power, scheming, and diplomacy that goes into these other games. I have friends to play with if you’re not into it, but it’s so sexy if you are into these games. Really.

What about you? What are some of your little things, your little bonuses?