What I Want…the Little Things

A while back, I posted my most commented and controversial post ever, What Men Want…Rather, What I Want (the play adaption is coming to Broadway in May 2011). The post involved very specific dealbreaker-type requirements for the type of woman I want.

On occasion since that fateful day, I’ve thought of little attributes for a woman to have (a woman to date me) that would be nice. They’re not dealbreakers. But they’d certainly be nice. And I’m sure this list will grow as I think of more.

I bring up this topic not just to share about myself, but to point out an odd way that we connect with people. Sometimes the little things seem so important, but when you take a step back, does it matter that your favorite song is the other person’s favorite song, or that you love Star Wars just as much as the other person? They’re lovely bonuses, and I think they trigger something in us that registers as a connection, but in the long run, they don’t matter all that much. Their cherries on top of the whipped cream of dealbreakers.

  • Likes the house warm: I keep my condo at 78 degrees. It’s not well insulated, so the actual temperature is around 74. I barely use the AC in the summer. Even if a woman doesn’t quite like those temperatures, I’d prefer that she like it warmer instead of cooler.
  • Likes to read in bed: I love, love to read in bed at the end of the day. It’s even better when there’s a lovely woman next to me. Maybe we’re crossing legs like a pretzel while we read. That’s ideal.
  • Doesn’t want a TV in the bedroom: This is the opposite of reading in bed, and I don’t like it. For me, TVs are for the living room, not for the bedroom.
  • Okay with cats: This is pretty close to a dealbreaker, because I’d be hard-pressed to give up Biddy for a woman. It would be almost impossible. It would be great to be with a woman who genuinely enjoyed Biddy instead of just putting up with him.
  • Toilet paper flap on the outside: The great debate of life: inside or outside? I’m an outside flap guy. It makes sense for dozens of reasons. I can be flexible about this, but it would be nice if you’d be an outside flap girl.
  • Likes to iron: I will literally do every chore around the house if you iron my clothes. Really. I’ll take out the trash, vacuum, clean bathrooms, empty and fill the dishwasher…if you iron my clothes. Most of my shirts are pretty wrinkly. I haven’t ironed since I moved away from home…11 years ago. Before college. I really don’t like it at all.
  • Can throw a frisbee/football really far: I love to play fetch. There’s nothing more exhilerating to me than dashing across a field or beach to just barely catch a frisbee or football. Tossing a frisbee back and forth is one thing, but I’ll get bored after a few minutes. If you can throw a frisbee or football 50+ yards, you’re my kind of girl.
  • Likes to assimilate while traveling: When some people travel, they want to see everything. They pack their days with staged photos in front of monuments. When I travel, I want to do as the natives do. I’d much rather spend a week with you in a tiny town in Italy than spending seven days rushing around between Venice, Rome, and EatPrayLoveville.
  • Likes to play strategy board games: One of my guilty pleasures is strategy board games. Settlers of Catan, Agricola, and most recently, Railways of the World. Social games like Cranium, Taboo, and Apples to Apples are okay, but I love the brain power, scheming, and diplomacy that goes into these other games. I have friends to play with if you’re not into it, but it’s so sexy if you are into these games. Really.

What about you? What are some of your little things, your little bonuses?

10 Responses to “What I Want…the Little Things”

  1. Biscuit says:

    NIE! Toilet paper goes against ze’ wall! (picture me smacking my hand with a ruler, very tight bun, unibrow, uncomfortable shoes, looking at you disapprovingly)

    I get everything else though.

    • Jamey Stegmaier says:

      Is that your outfit for your toilet paper class? You might want to get your stylist to look into that unibrow. It can be fixed.

      This past year, I spent a month trying the against-the-wall method. It was the worst month of my life. I couldn’t see where the perforations were, I couldn’t see where the free end of the paper began, and I often found myself wrapped from head to toe in toilet paper because I couldn’t control the output. It was dreadful.

      Do the right thing. Hang the free end on the outside of the roll.

  2. T-Mac says:

    One of mine would be “Willing to eat fast food, particularly Taco Bell, nearly every day for the rest of her life”. It’s not a deal breaker, but it sure would be nice!

    Also, a few quick comments on your list:

    1) I noticed the conspicuous absense of Risk from your list of strategy board games. (I wanted to insert a link to the Playing Risk with Your Girlfriend entry, but admittedly, I find searching more challenging on this current site than old ones.)

    2) Any woman (or man) who can throw a football 50+ yards should be contacting the Buffalo Bills. They’re looking for a starting QB, and I’m pretty sure you’d be better than their current options.

    • Jamey Stegmaier says:

      Trev–I laughed out loud at point number 2. Good point, both about the Bills and the unlikelihood of finding someone with an arm like that. But still…it would be awesome.

      As for Risk, although I love Risk, there are elements of these other games that diminish Risk’s appeal. The biggest is that in Risk, people drop out of the game, sometimes fairly quickly. That means that you might have people sitting around doing nothing for hours while they wait for the game to be over. That’s not the case with these other games. Everyone’s in it until the end.

    • Penelope says:

      I also love Trevor’s second point! I can’t even get my hand wrapped around a football well enough to have any control! Ha ha. 🙂

      A couple of my bonuses would be:

      Is excited (or at least pretends to be excited) to wait for me at the finish line when I run road races.

      Picks up after me when I leave my stuff all over the place. (Ideally, this would include keeping my car clean.)

      I really like your points of reading in bed and assimilating while traveling as well!

      • Jamey Stegmaier says:

        Thanks Penelope. I like yours too (and I’d recommend telling the road race one to future boyfriends–I think it’s helpful to know which part of the race the woman wants me to watch).

        And you want a man to pick up after you? You’re asking a lot!

  3. allow me to chime in, jamey. thanks to google buzz (do i need another outlet for social masturbation?) i’ve become a regular(ish) reader of your blog (do i need another outlet for social masturbation?). it takes a lot of guts to put yourself out there, so i applaud you. and i appreciate the seinfeldian aura you’ve created for yourself.
    a lot of the prods you got on that other post of yours, in my opinion, were unfair. everybody is particular, everybody is superficial. the only thing working for (and even against) you is that you have chosen to live your life inside out. that, too me, doesn’t deserve criticism. (advocating missed connections, however, does…)
    that being said, i like a girl with no body hair and who doesn’t stay in touch with ex-boyfriends. bonus points if she has one gray eye and one blue eye. bonus points, too, if she doesn’t care about throwing the football or playing mario cart with me and my mates–i prefer to keep relationship david and friend david from getting together. but that’s just me.

    • Jamey Stegmaier says:

      Dave–I’m glad Google Buzz has gotten you to comment more, because your comments are awesome.

      I agree with you about those prods 🙂

      I understand the separate of relationship David and friend David…I might need to explore that in a future post!

  4. Dionne says:

    Wow, I do all those things except the first one. I prefer living in a cozy 72-73 degree home. I like all those attributes!

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