Archive for May, 2010

The Roast

The Roast

A friend of mine and fellow blogger, Harley May, occasionally roasts author friends of hers. She’s absolutely hilarious, and recently she graciously agreed to roast me as well. She used the photo that as use in the header of my blog to write a hilarious blog entry about a day in the life of Jamey […]


Is There a Perfect Woman for Me? Survey Results!

Is There a Perfect Woman for Me? Survey Results!

Last week, I created a survey and posted a link to it on my blog, craigslist, Facebook, and Twitter. The intent of the survey was to determine if there is such thing as the “perfect woman” out there for me–on paper, at least. I thought I’d get somewhere between 15-20 people to respond to the […]


The Perfect Woman for Me

The Perfect Woman for Me

Okay, I’ve gone and done something a little self-centered: I created a survey geared toward finding the perfect woman for me. I wrote 25 questions that really matter and posted them HERE. If you don’t mind, post your scores in the comments section below. And if you score a perfect 25 (or in the 20-25 […]


The Nature of Male Toplessness

The Nature of Male Toplessness

The other day, a female friend of mine asked me, “Why do guys find any excuse not to wear a shirt?” My initial response was, “Well…why would we wear shirts if we didn’t have to?” She replied, “That doesn’t answer my question.” She’s right. There are so many things that guys do without shirts when […]


A Brief History of Breakups

A Brief History of Breakups

I’ve had an idea for a blog entry for a while called, “The Break Up: How to Get Out of Concerts and Relationships.” This item has sat on my blog idea list for months now and I haven’t written it, so that says to me that I’m not all that interested in writing about it. […]


You Need to Rent “The Notebook”

You Need to Rent "The Notebook"

Remember “The Ring”? That really scary movie that had people walking out of theaters literally thinking they were going to die? Well, I have a theory that  the movie “The Notebook” is exactly like “The Ring,” but with sex instead of death. It’s the female Viagra all those researchers have been looking for. Just to […]


Pay What You Want

Pay What You Want

A while ago I read an interview with a speaker and consultant who tells his clients to pay what they want. He established trust on the front end by telling clients that he trusts that they’ll pay him what he’s worth, and more often than not, the trust is returned on the back end. In […]


7 Phrases Women Like to Hear

7 Phrases Women Like to Hear

My mother, bless her heart, recently sent me this article as good blog fodder. It’s titled, “7 Phrases Men Like to Hear.” It’s not all that insightful into the male psyche, but a few are really good. I’ll recap here: You look great. I love your [insert body part]. I love it when you [insert action]. […]


Is She Old Enough?

Is She Old Enough?

Sometimes I get deja vu when I start to write a blog entry. This is one such occurrence. If I’ve written this exact same entry in the past, I apologize. (Does that ever happen to you?) The other day I was in the Shangri-La of grocery stores, the Clayton Schnuck’s. It is a utopia of […]


What If X Were Real?

What If X Were Real?

Call me a dreamer. I haven’t been getting on Twitter much lately, but I popped on there today to see what was up with the world (not much, really). But one thing caught my eye. You see, Twitter has this thing called “trending topics.” It’s a word cloud of the words being used most in […]


The Necessity of the Bad First Novel

The Necessity of the Bad First Novel

In helping to critique friends’ writing and working on Blank Slate Press submissions recently, I’ve read a lot of quality work. One thing is evident: This isn’t the first time around the block for these writers. They’ve been honing their craft for years. Many of them, I’m guessing, have a really bad novel sitting in […]


The Cat Lady Cometh

The Cat Lady Cometh

Cat owners/lovers generally have one question on their minds: Should I get more cats? I’ve had Biddy for over 3 years now, and we have a pretty good thing going on. However, over the last few months he’s been really whiny at nothing in particular. He’s such a playful cat, and he seems really lonely […]


Graduate Advice

Graduate Advice

I work at a university church, so every year we say goodbye to a new batch of graduates. We had a sendoff Mass/lunch for them today, and usually the staff imparts some wisdom upon the graduates. Apparently that wasn’t in the schedule this year, but the advice I was going to give was: Your first […]


I Am Iron Man 2

I Am Iron Man 2

Two years ago, I wrote an entry on this blog (complete with photos) about the sheer joy I experienced while watching the first Iron Man movie. It was such a revelation to have a superhero movie come together that well. Thus I was incredibly excited about Iron Man 2: The Ironing. I eagerly awaited each […]


Pet Peeve #10: Parking Space Stalking

Pet Peeve #10: Parking Space Stalking

I’ll come out and say it: I think there are a lot of lazy people in America. We are a culture of TV remotes and drive-thrus, microwaves and lottery tickets, elevators and magical ab machines. We want things, and we want them now. One place that this laziness manifests itself is in the parking lot. […]


Pet Please #24: Mothers

Pet Please #24: Mothers

I fell asleep really early yesterday due to an awesome–but exhausting–wedding weekend (not mine!), so here is my Mother’s Day entry for this year. I titled this pet please “Mothers,” but really, the pet please I have in mind is more specific than that. I’ll explain. When I was little, I used to get migraines. […]


Ask Jamey

Ask Jamey

A kind reader did my work for me by e-mailing me this hilarious letter. Dear Jamey, So I’ve got this beef with the English language.  Often when writing by hand (and sometimes when typing) I tend to combine the words “with” and “the” when they are written back-to-back into a new word “withe” and I […]


The Premier System

The Premier System

I love brilliant systems. The English Premier League’s ranking system is quite brilliant, and I want to talk about it briefly today. There are 20 teams in the EPL. The top four teams from this year are entered in the Champions League, which is an extended tournament held during the regular season of all of […]


Two Phrases to Phase Out

Two Phrases to Phase Out

“What do I look like–chopped liver?” When people use this expression, they’re trying to say that you’re not giving them the attention or credit they deserve. It’s true that chopped liver deserves no attention or credit–it’s disgusting. But who looks like chopped liver?! Much less, why would you make people consider the possibility that you […]


My Greatest Fear #8: Static Electricity

My Greatest Fear #8: Static Electricity

The other day I was doing laundry, and I forgot to put in one of those little magical dryer sheets. When I extracted my fuzzy blanket from the machine, I shocked myself. Then I shocked myself again when I touched a door handle, and again when Biddy tried to get involved in things. It was […]


The Rules of Morning Breath

The Rules of Morning Breath

Morning breath is a fact of life. It’s inevitable, and it’s never good. Show me a person with good morning breath, and I’ll show you a well-written episode of Grey’s Anatomy. So the question here is: What are the rules for dealing with morning breath when you wake up next to someone? The key, in […]