Cleveland Clinic to Move to Miami

CLEVELAND, Ohio (AP) – The renowned Cleveland Clinic, one of the top teaching hospitals in the country, has decided to relocate to Miami.

The move is effective immediately, with the doors in Miami opening for the busy fall season. The move was announced Tuesday night during a special television event on PBS dubbed “The Conclusion.”

“The board of directors and I feel that the move to Miami will give us a chance to win not just the short-term acclaim we’ve sought, but rather year after year of championship-level medical service,” announced Sanjay Tripothi, president and CEO of the clinic.

“Or at least until our 5-year lease expires,” he added.

Whereas the clinic was the centerpiece of the Cleveland commercial landscape, it will vie for attention with the highly acclaimed Mount Sinai Medical Center and the Baptist Hospital of Miami. Tripothi said that the three intended to work as a team and share the spotlight for the betterment of the city.

“We owe the city of Cleveland so much–for supporting us when we were starting off, for believing in us both when we struggled and when we soared. It’s just time to say goodbye, to move on,” added Tripothi.

Long-time patrons of the hospital and current hospice patients were disappointed to learn of the move.

“We deserve better than this,” said cancer patient Eric Mencer. “I feel betrayed.”

In related news, Miami University of Ohio is also moving to Florida.

Copyright 2010 The Ass Press.