One-Way Streets

Note to anyone who might possibly think I’m talking about you: I’m not talking about you.

Tonight I was on my way to a publishing company meeting when I turned onto a one-way street and realized I was driving in the wrong direction. At first I froze, but then I was like, “What’s the worst that could happen?” (Which in this situation would be that I’m pulled over by a police officer who is actually a terminator sent from the future to kill me before my unborn child can lead a rebellion against the robots.)

So I kept driving. By the time I reached the end of the street, I realized that it was the longest distance I had ever traveled going the wrong way on a one-way street.

This got me thinking about all the other one-way streets in my past (really! A one-way street did that!) Although there have been many times where I haven’t been everything a woman wanted me to be, especially when it comes to spending quality time with her, I’m generally really good at reciprocating when a woman does something intentional for me. I’m very aware of that.

Sometimes I think the woman isn’t at all aware that she’s not reciprocating.

For example, the last question in my “perfect woman” survey dealt with how a woman would respond if we sat down to watch a TV show and I started to tease her legs during the show. One of the correct answers for me was that the woman starts to tease me back. In reality, that would be wonderful. But it rarely happens, whether it’s teasing me back in that moment or initiating some playful teasing in the future. Of course, this goes well beyond anything sexual. There are so many ways to make a person feel good.

Now, for many things, I don’t think it makes sense for reciprocation to happen right away. Like if you give someone a compliment, it comes across as less than genuine if they immediately give you a compliment. It’s better if they wait until they really mean it. But in the end, I think it’s healthy for a relationship if the compliment, favor, or whatever is reciprocated.

The trouble with all this is that it feels weird to tell someone they’re not reciprocating. In fact, I’ve tried it many times to less-than-stellar results. I’m able to communicate it without hurting the woman, but then they haven’t followed through. Maybe some women are aware of this and others aren’t?

So I pose to all of you out there, those who are in relationships or have been in relationships, how have you dealt with an imbalance in reciprocation? How do you turn the one-way streets in your life into two-way roads?

1 thought on “One-Way Streets”

  1. Faith will handle the relationship in time, just as it handled getting into a new relationship in the first place!

    Meaning… if you trust your partner to the point that you know she is bound to give you the same care that you give her at any time, then you don’t have to worry about it or plan for it, and it will always come!

    And if either of you notice an imbalance then mention that and it should be fixed immediately, perhaps starting with a simple hug of reassurance that the two-way relationship will last forever!

    One way roads, as described in this article, should never exist. I’ve been through them and they can be quite disappointing and depressing. I hope and pray that the other “way” finds you soon … in any friendship or more 🙂

    Erik

    Reply

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