How to Give Birth to LeBron James in One Easy Step

The other day I was listening to a fascinating discussion with famed author Malcolm Gladwell about national sports teams. A while ago, Gladwell noticed that a disproportionate number of players on the Canadian national hockey team were born in January, February, or March. The best players in the country, almost all of them born in the same three months. Why?

Turns out that the reason was related to the cutoff date for youth hockey leagues. The cutoff date is January 1 for youth hockey in Canada, so the kids born in January, February, and March are more likely to be more developed and have more practice under their belts than players born in November and December, those who just barely make the cut.

It’s just a small advantage at first. But there’s something called the Matthew Effect that says that kids with small advantages over their peers early on turn those tiny advantages into exponentially larger advantages over the years until they’re the ones leading their national teams.

This got me thinking: What if this works for other sports too? Given this knowledge, couldn’t you schedule your next pregnancy to position your child for the best change at leading his peers in a specific sport?

I compiled data from the most recent US national teams in several different sports (sorry, other countries) and found the following:

I’ve separated men’s and women’s sports into two separate sections, just in case you have a method for picking the gender of your children. I’ve also highlighted the high points in each category (in yellow) and the high points for each gender and overall (in green).

Let’s look at the female data first, because there’s a clear trend overall: You want your baby girl born in the summer if you want her to play sports at an elite level. That means you should copulate in the fall.

Boys are tougher. There aren’t any overall trends, but there are clear months to aim for if you know the sport you want your boy to excel in. You want a soccer player? Aim for May. You want a basketball player? September. April for hockey, and July/August for football. Baseball is spread out a bit, but there are some months not to aim at there.

Realistically, you’re not going to be able to pick the gender of your child, and you may like multiple sports. That’s where the overall data at the bottom comes in handy. The top months for breeding top athletes are March/April and July/August. So you need to procreate in June/July and October/November.

Please check out the forums to see all the people who chastise me for even considering this idea.

Daily Quickie: If that’s not enough data, go check out the results of my panties poll from last week. I’m most interested in the overlap of underwear that guys like on women and that women like to wear. Looks like that overlap is with lace panties and thongs.

7 thoughts on “How to Give Birth to LeBron James in One Easy Step”

  1. Intersting. I recall that in soccer (and perhaps other sports) it is the reverse: That those who are the oldest in their age group (i.e. if you have to be born by July 31, 2000 to play on the U-10 team, those born in May, June, or July) have the most representation on national teams because their age allows them slight advantages in competition against younger peers, getting them noticed or promoted more easily.

    Strange that it works the other way in hockey. Does hockey value “actual skill” over “relative skill” and soccer not? Are their scouts better or something?

    But at least now I know my future is in baseball, based on your table.

    Bob

    Reply
    • Well, it’s too late for you, Bob. If you started playing baseball now, the Matthew Effect wouldn’t trigger for another 10 years. You’d be 40.

      Your explanation for soccer may be what I was trying to say above. I’m not sure. I just know that the cutoff for Canadian hockey was January 1, and the kids born in those first three months had a big advantage.

      Which month will you target for your kid(s)?

      Reply
  2. If you had read Outliers two years ago like i told you to this would not be news to you. He talks a LOT about this in the book, you should definitely read that chapter at lest since you find it so fascinating.

    Reply
    • Oh don’t you worry, I read Outliers about a year ago. But it’s easier to cite something that I can link to. Trying to help out my readers here, Bryce!

      But yes, if you want a full chapter on this subject, check out the book Outliers.

      Reply
  3. This post made my head hurt. Thank goodness you put lace panties and thongs in bold at the end to help draw my attention to the quickie.

    Reply

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