My Greatest Fear #15

I did not expect to find a photo of this. And yet here it is.

My Greatest Fear #15: Accidentally putting something on my toothbrush that is not toothpaste. And then trying to brush my teeth with it.

Has this ever happened? No. Not once. Not to me, at least.

But like any American, I have a number of random tubes of gels and ointments in my bathroom. There may come a day when I’m going through my routine and I absentmindedly grab one of the wrong tubes, and suddenly I have Bengay in my mouth and my mouth is going numb and it smells weird and I can’t feel my tongue and did they know when they named it “Bengay” that they were setting themselves up to be the butt of many a high school boy’s jokes and now I can’t feel my throat either and I swallowed my toothbrush and I can’t remember the number for 911 and Biddy is already eyeing me as easy prey.

Hey, it could happen.

Daily Quickie: Many women use Halloween as an excuse to dress in scandalous fantasy outfits, which is awesome, but it’s just one day of year. Shouldn’t other holidays start to use this strategy. I mean, what if Arbor Day organizers could get women to dress as Eve (of Adam and Eve fame)? Heck, men too, for that matter. Imagine how many trees would be planted! The environment would be saved almost immediately.