Pet Please #32: The Solo Grocery Hike

This is not me. I'd never drink Diet Mountain Dew.

You’ve had a long day at work. You forgot your shopping list, so you wandered around the grocery for what felt like hours until you had what you needed. Then the cashier hands you these pink grocery bags that support breast cancer…how? By making a fortune for artificial pink dye companies?

You drag your three-wheeled shopping cart over to your car, tossing bag after bag into your back seat while a Hummer waits for your parking spot. You drive back home, almost hitting a punk kid walking across the road with his pants around his ankles.

After parking, you drape your shopping bags (canvas and plastic; you need to scoop your cat’s poop into something) over your hands…and you realize what’s about to happen. Despite the bags digging into your hands as you stumble to the back door, fumble for your keys, and waddle up the stairway, you realize that you might just make it up to your kitchen in one trip without putting down a single bag.

And then you’re there, and it’s over, you’re home, and the Daily Show from last night is on, and your cat’s head is in all the bags, and you’re happy.

One trip. No stops. Nothing better than the solo grocery hike to make your day.

Daily Quickie: Take 53 seconds to fill out my survey about happiness. I’ll report on the findings next week.

3 thoughts on “Pet Please #32: The Solo Grocery Hike”

  1. What can possibly make the solo grocery hike even better you ask? Stopping by the mailbox after lugging the groceries up a poorly lit walkway, quickly regaining balance after stumbling over whatever the heck that was under the leaves, opening the mailbox with one elbow, grabbing three inches worth of mail with two fingers, contorting your body awkwardly to put the letters under your other arm, dodging the booby trap donation bags the neighbor sat out and proceed to climb up a flight of dark twisted stairs before reaching the final destination that is the kitchen counter. Oh yeah! That’s right! In your face Ninja Warriors!! In your FACE!


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