The Last Chocolate Factory

Um, maybe this is why we're running out of chocolate?

I received some devastating news today.

If mankind continues consuming chocolate at the rate we’re currently on, in 20 years, chocolate will be too expensive for the average person to afford.

I’m the average person. That’s me. This is terrible.

The obvious solution is that the rest of you should stop eating chocolate immediately so that I can continue to consume it at my normal rate.

However, some of you may not support that proposal. So really, there’s only one other solution: Riots in the street followed to a last-man-standing battle to the death, with the winner being awarded the sole right to eat chocolate.

May the best man win.

17 thoughts on “The Last Chocolate Factory”

  1. I know! I saw that too! Devastating! Companies are trying to genetically alter cocoa plants to compensate. Crazy. Can you imagine paying $11 for a Hershey bar??

  2. I think the people in that picture may just be sitting in very dirty water.

    Also, I now plan to double…nay, triple…my current chocolate intake. I’m going to live the next 20 years to the fullest. Chocolatefest, on.

  3. I think a better solution would be to stop destroying the rain forests and to slow down climate changes which are making it difficult to grow cocoa plants.

  4. For something as big as the Cholocate industry, I’d bet they’ll get something engineered. OR, ythey’ll get away from “Chocolate” and get into “cocoa flavored.”

  5. This should be tagged under humor, my sides are hurting so bad from laughing. Of all the issues in the world, you’re concerned about your chocolate supply running out. Why don’t you just buy up stuff now and see if you can share Biddy’s hiding spots to store it? If the world is going to end in 2012 like some people think, then you won’t even have to worry about running out of chocolate 😀 Win win, right?

    • Wait wait wait! Ok this is a problem…the article mentioned honey too. This can’t happen, honey is important! Fix it Jamey, think of something.

    • Amanda, this is no laughing matter. This is CHOCOLATE we’re talking about. The life source of all things good and delicious.

      You have a good point about 2012. All the more reason to considerably increase my chocolate intake. I vow to not eat anything that hasn’t been dipped in chocolate from now on.

  6. You will go down, Stegmaier. I know how to yield a trident. Maybe if I’m feeling charitable after the battle royale you can wipe whatever is left on the corner of my mouth off.

    That is all.

    HM out

  7. This whole “last man standing” comment along with “may the best man win” crap is futile because chocolate addicted women will band together to eliminate the male competition. Then, and only then, will they fight amongst themselves until the sole victor emerges.

      • The women will go Mantid and bite the men’s heads off and dip them in chocolate to eat. Wait, that’s gross. Just bite the heads off, and eat the chocolate. To be completely honest though, I wouldn’t even want to fight another woman for chocolate…


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