A Festivus Miracle

Okay, it’s not quite a miracle, but after a month of waiting, the article about my Festivus party finally made it to St. Louis Magazine. For your viewing and reading pleasure, in high def and 3D:

I feel like it’s not a great photo of me–the angle gives me a bit of the fat face. But that’s okay. It’s not like 120,000 magazine subscribers will see the fat face. Wait…

Also, a “small group”? Festivus somehow always falls on the day with the worst weather, and I still get about 80 people to come to the party. Not too shabby. And no, faithful readers who aren’t real-life friends, you’re not invited to the party. It would be weird if you showed up. You’re the best readers, but I don’t want any of you to become just as good at stalking.

19 thoughts on “A Festivus Miracle”

  1. Yeah, that’s the article I saw. Very cool. I didn’t think you had a fat face, the person just took a junky shot. How many copies did you buy?

    Reply
    • I bought two copies. I would have bought more, but really, what am I going to do with more copies? I’ll give one to my family and keep the other one, maybe frame the article or something.

      Reply
  2. True, good point. I wonder if you’ll get recognized out in public more, so exciting! I would be happy dancing my butt off if I ever got written about.

    Reply
  3. hope u liked the way it turned out, man–thanks for everything–byron, stl mag
    p.s. Here’s a grievance: The Clayton meter maid’s golf cart is so small that I would really hurt her if I smashed my car into it. What? Like you haven’t had that thought?
    8)

    Reply
    • Thanks for the article, Byron. I hope it’s okay that I posted it here!

      I like the grievance! I think grieving against meter maids in general is fair game. I hope a male meter maid grieves against the term “meter maid.”

      Reply
  4. Until you pin me, Stegmaier, Festivus is not over!

    Maybe the camera really does add ten pounds? Just kidding!! That is indeed a crappy photo (and I’m NOT sorry STL Mag photographer…the lady at the Clayton DMV takes more flattering photos 🙂

    Reply
    • Hey now, I actually thought the photographer was very professional, a cool guy. He probably chose 5-10 photos and gave them to his editor, and his editor chose this one. I mean, it doesn’t totally ruin my chances with the ladies, right? Right?

      Reply
      • Hilarious. I was kidding Mr. photography man! Ruin your chances with the ladies? Not with that charming personality 🙂 You know how women are? They gush over stuff like this. You’ve scored yourself major bonus points, my friend!

        Reply
  5. The picture does make you look beefier, but more in a muscular way. I have a bad feeling that there will be some sort of beer-four-square PED scandal this year.

    Reply
    • A PED scandal is bound to happen someday at Festivus. I can say that’s not why I look “beefier” in the photo, though.

      Reply
  6. This is awesome! Congratulations. Good luck with the party. We expect a drunk blog post and pics. 🙂 Ooo, ooo, get people to draw US maps at the party!

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  7. I don’t think it’s a bad picture, per se, nor do I think you look particularly fat, but I’m not quite sure where your chin went. Has it disappeared since the last time I saw you?

    Reply
  8. Why is there a reflection of you in the picture as well? Also, bad picture or otherwise, I think you should offer to allow wrestling for any ‘ladies’ who express interest. Obviously winner would have to wrestle the host.

    Reply
    • I’m not sure about the reflection.

      I don’t think Festivus is the time or the place for actual wrestling. But I’ll be happy to schedule wrestling with the “ladies” on later dates.

      Yikes. That sounds creepy.

      Reply

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