I just realized that I haven’t been giving all of the judges credit for all the hard work, the hours of research, the sweat and blood they lost while ranking the top 40 Festivus grievances of 2010. Leo took care of 31-40. Josh then handled 21-30. Gabby stepped in and did a great job with 11-20. Then Bryce brought them all home with the top 10, which you can find below. Congrats to whoever wrote #1! Feel free to step forward and take forward for your simple yet poignant insight into All Soul’s Day.
10. That it has suddenly become socially acceptable to say “awkward!” in a high-pitched voice in response to something someone says or does. That’s awkward.
9. When you run into people you know at awkward locations, like when I encountered an old high school teacher at the gynecologist.
8. Dental dams. Wow, these things are flying off the shelves.
7. Thanks a lot, BP, for increasing the cost of my tuna roll by $0.50.
6. Girlfriends who can’t handle broken alliances in RISK.
5. When you vacuum the entire house before realizing that you had the vacuum on the “hose” setting the whole time.
4. Not enough bacon…for everything.
3. Chilean miners—You survive for 68 days deep underground and then run the NY marathon? Now you’re just making the rest of us look bad.
2. Automatic toilets that flush before I’m finished. It’s gross, and then I just have to flush it again when I’m really done. Not very green, is it?
1. Non-slutty Halloween costumes.
Thank you, blog readers and party attendees, for all of these brilliant grievances! Through your grief we’re able to realize how amazing of a year 2010 was.
Next week: Back to normal blog posts, including one in which I get paid to smell cat pee (really!) Also, more lists for top movies, songs, and books of 2010.