My Second Birthday

Every year, January 9 rolls around and I celebrate my first birthday. Three days later on January 12, I have a special second birthday.

As you may know if you’ve read this blog for a while or ever checked out my About page, I’m adopted. I had the good fortune of sharing my adoption experience with thousands of readers two years ago over on

January 12 is the day I was adopted.

I’ve been in contact with my biological mother over the years, and this year, commemorating 30 years after my adoption, she sent me a box full of all the letters she received from me over the years. I didn’t read any of her letters or write her until I was 20 (not out of resentment or anything like that; I simply had no interest), so there are a few letters in this box from my parents.

There’s one letter from my mom that really got to me, and I asked her if I could share an excerpt from it on the blog. This letter was sent on May 22, 1983, so reading it is like being whisked back in time 28 years.

“I feel the birthparents did the most unselfish thing they could have–they gave that baby life–and had to bear all the physical and emotional pain only not to share in the joys themselves–but to give some other couple that joy, a joy and fulfillment they couldn’t have achieved without the birthparents.”

(The last part is a bit ironic, because my parents discovered almost immediately after adopting me that they could, in fact, have biological children.)

That sentence and the others around it get to me because I can tell how truly grateful my parents were to my biological mother. Sometimes I think that having a baby is a selfish act, by it wasn’t at all in this case. My biological mother made a selfless decision to find a family for me, and my parents fully recognized that in their gratitude. My mom’s letter wasn’t about filling a void in her life; it was about the joy of being blessed with a child.

Anyway, I feel like I’m rambling, and I had one other thing I wanted to say before I stop talking about birthdays. I’m 30 now, and although I didn’t start Groupon or write a bestselling book, I feel like I’ve done some decent things in my life. But I want to have a few big goals for the next 10 years of my life, and I’m going to put them here so I don’t forget. So here’s my list of a few things I will do before I’m 40, or I’ll be pretty darn disappointed in myself.

  1. Have my own business as my primary source of income.
  2. Finish writing a novel.
  3. If I meet the right girl, I have the guts to be with her.
  4. Swim with dolphins.

What are your business, accomplishment, relational, and travel/experiential goals?

11 thoughts on “My Second Birthday”

  1. First off what an amazing story! It takes a lot for someone to bare something so personal on such a public forum such as this one. In fact, for some couples who are considering adoption they should read your story, I think it might help make their decisions more concrete!


    Would you say turning 30 is a lot like celebrating New Year’s Eve all over again? You get to make resolutions but ones that have a more lenient timeline?

    Definitely with you on your #1 and #2. Would you say your #2 is moving towards becoming one with your #1?:)

    So in no particular order definitely your #1 and #2 are on my list, but in addition:

    Get a functioning comic book series/graphic novel for all ages up and running.

    Properly learn the drums.

    See my friends and family that live in other states.

    Visit countries of various interest: Italy, Hungary, all of the UK, India, Japan, Brazil, Canada

    Get over the fear of riding a loop-d-loop rollercoaster and just do it!

    • Thanks Georgia! As for #2, it would be nice if I could make a living by writing, but I think there are very few people who do that. I love your goals, and I hope you achieve them!

  2. Jamey continues to be a blessing in my life, no matter how he came to be a member of our family.

    Children are blessings not a gift that you deserve or anything to take for granted. My children are surprises that has enabled me, as a parent, to grow in the understanding of unconditional love.

    God has the greatest unconditional love for us. And I, in my human form, love my children unconditionally.

  3. Go watch The Cove and then re-evaluate #4. Unless, of course, you mean you want to swim out in the open ocean with dolphins swimming freely around you, which would be fine, I guess.

    But if you mean you want to go to Sea World or some shady Mexican resort and jump in a pool and grab hold of a dolphin and have her pull you around, then you, sir, disgust me! How would you like if a dolphin captured you and stuck you in a cage and then made you carry her around on your back?

    Of course, you did spend some time in Japan, so maybe that’s why you hate dolphins.

    • Oh yes, I definitely mean in the open ocean. I really don’t like any sort of animal captivity, including zoos and Sea World. I hope that doesn’t apply to Biddy. Biddy is free to go if that’s what he really wants, but I think he prefers all the comforts I provide for him.

      • Wait, if you think Biddy prefers all the comforts provided for him, then why don’t you want all animals to be that happy. Didn’t The Life of Pi teach you that animals prefer to live in zoos rather than the wild? Except for dolphins of course, because The Cove says…..

        AHHHHHH, I just don’t know which piece of pop culture animal propaganda to believe!

        I just wish that Al Gore would make a definitive documentary on animal preferences so I could put all my questioning aside and know for sure.


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