My Greatest Fear #19: Broken Glass in Restaurants

There’s something you should know about ordering drinks with ice at restaurants (that includes you, Liz Lemon, drinker of white wine Sprite spritzers on ice):

You might be drinking shards of ice.

True story. You see, when you send a waiter to fetch you a glass of water (especially if you say it as I do: “Waiter, fetch me a water!”), what he should do is use the stainless steel ice scooper to place ice in your glass.

But what he actually does is uses your fresh glass as a scoop. Which isn’t a problem 99% of the time. But every once in a while, a glass will get chipped as it clashed against the ice. That little bit of glass gets scooped up by another waiter, and before you know it, you have a patron who is bleeding internally due to their diet coke.

Like I said, this rarely happens. It’s much more of a concern when a glass shatters in the ice, but a good restaurant will flush out the ice bin when that happens.

However, knowing what I know about scooping ice–after all, I was one such waiter who used the glass as a scoop–every once in a while I take a sip of my drink, and a little sliver of something shoots down my throat. It’s probably just a shard of ice. But you never know…

Also, never eat potato skins at restaurants. The outside of a potato is fair game for handling in the kitchen. Any given potato has probably passed through at least a dozen hands (many of them longshoremen) by the time it gets to your plate.


5 Responses to “My Greatest Fear #19: Broken Glass in Restaurants”

  1. Katie says:

    See Jamey, the solution to this is to stop dining at those fancy, highfalutin establishments that use actual glasses. What do you expect next, cloth napkins??? Food thatโ€™s prepared in trans fat-free cooking oil???

    I only frequent places that use plastic or paper cups, which completely eliminates the problem. Bonus points if the restaurant gives me a spork with a napkin and salt and pepper packets wrapped in cellophane. If by chance I do find myself eating at some swanky place that uses actual glasses, I just order a beer. Problem solved.

    ๐Ÿ˜›

    • Jamey Stegmaier says:

      Wait, you don’t ask for ice in your beer? That’s weird.

      You’re right, my expectations for fine dining are way too high. The next time I go to Ruth Chris, I’ll demand that my $50 steak is served on a paper plate.

  2. Lorena says:

    You were one of those people who didn’t use the metal scoop?!!!!! I’m offended. I always used the scoop, and my glasses were plastic.

  3. Tracy says:

    I suggest a whole new blog entry about the stainless steel scoop itself. That thing was always horribly cold! Most restaurants I worked in had plastic scoops. Metal scoop, ice, and glass is just a bad combination.

    What were we talking about? Oh yeah, glass in my ice. Ehhh. Even though I’ve waited tables and know what goes on in restaurant kitchens, it takes a lot to spook me when going out to eat. The joy of eating a meal that I don’t have to prepare is enough for me…only made better by not having to pay for it either. Low expectations, Jamey. I recommend it. ๐Ÿ™‚

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