My Greatest Fear #19: Broken Glass in Restaurants

There’s something you should know about ordering drinks with ice at restaurants (that includes you, Liz Lemon, drinker of white wine Sprite spritzers on ice):

You might be drinking shards of ice.

True story. You see, when you send a waiter to fetch you a glass of water (especially if you say it as I do: “Waiter, fetch me a water!”), what he should do is use the stainless steel ice scooper to place ice in your glass.

But what he actually does is uses your fresh glass as a scoop. Which isn’t a problem 99% of the time. But every once in a while, a glass will get chipped as it clashed against the ice. That little bit of glass gets scooped up by another waiter, and before you know it, you have a patron who is bleeding internally due to their diet coke.

Like I said, this rarely happens. It’s much more of a concern when a glass shatters in the ice, but a good restaurant will flush out the ice bin when that happens.

However, knowing what I know about scooping ice–after all, I was one such waiter who used the glass as a scoop–every once in a while I take a sip of my drink, and a little sliver of something shoots down my throat. It’s probably just a shard of ice. But you never know…

Also, never eat potato skins at restaurants. The outside of a potato is fair game for handling in the kitchen. Any given potato has probably passed through at least a dozen hands (many of them longshoremen) by the time it gets to your plate.

5 thoughts on “My Greatest Fear #19: Broken Glass in Restaurants”

  1. See Jamey, the solution to this is to stop dining at those fancy, highfalutin establishments that use actual glasses. What do you expect next, cloth napkins??? Food that’s prepared in trans fat-free cooking oil???

    I only frequent places that use plastic or paper cups, which completely eliminates the problem. Bonus points if the restaurant gives me a spork with a napkin and salt and pepper packets wrapped in cellophane. If by chance I do find myself eating at some swanky place that uses actual glasses, I just order a beer. Problem solved.


    • Wait, you don’t ask for ice in your beer? That’s weird.

      You’re right, my expectations for fine dining are way too high. The next time I go to Ruth Chris, I’ll demand that my $50 steak is served on a paper plate.

  2. You were one of those people who didn’t use the metal scoop?!!!!! I’m offended. I always used the scoop, and my glasses were plastic.

  3. I suggest a whole new blog entry about the stainless steel scoop itself. That thing was always horribly cold! Most restaurants I worked in had plastic scoops. Metal scoop, ice, and glass is just a bad combination.

    What were we talking about? Oh yeah, glass in my ice. Ehhh. Even though I’ve waited tables and know what goes on in restaurant kitchens, it takes a lot to spook me when going out to eat. The joy of eating a meal that I don’t have to prepare is enough for me…only made better by not having to pay for it either. Low expectations, Jamey. I recommend it. 🙂


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