What’s Your Vice?

I have a theory that we all have a secret vice.

By that I mean that we have a secret desire for something bigger, and, if given the chance, we might do extraordinary things to achieve that vice. I don’t think “vice” has a positive connotation. Also, your vice can contradict your personality–a vice is something we want even if we know it wouldn’t be good for us.

I’ll tell you mine: I want to be a little famous. Just a little.

If I could grant you one of the following, which would you choose?

  • Fame: You want people to know your name. You want magazines to print articles about you. You want to get bumped up to first class because the flight attendant recognizes your face. If the FBI came to you and said that they could stage it so you could make the final winning catch of the most-watched Super Bowl of all time, but you’d have to do it for free and you’d never play football again, you’d do it.
  • Money: You want to be able to buy anything and everything. You don’t want to have to think about whether or not you can afford something. If the FBI came to you tomorrow and said, “You have to be in the witness protection program from now on, but you have to lead a very quiet life on a private estate. We’ll give you $100 million dollars to spend on whatever you want,” you’d take the deal.
  • Power: You want to be in control. You were probably drawn to politics in high school. You want people to listen to you every time you speak. If the FBI came to you and said that they wanted to appoint you to a secret volunteer position in the presidential cabinet that would give you significant control over the direction of this country, you would do it.
  • Sex: You want people to desire you. You want to be irresistible to anyone and everyone. You want to be able to walk into a bar and turn every head in the place. If the FBI came to you tomorrow and said that you could spend the night–every night–with anyone in the world, you’d do it.
  • Love: You want to be beloved. You’re the type of person who wants everyone to like you, and you really struggle when someone doesn’t. You’d rather have a small group of completely smitten fans than a large group of followers who could just as easily boo you off the stage as they would applaud. If the FBI came to you tomorrow and said that they wanted to make you America’s next sweetheart (a role previously occupied by Sandra Bullock, Reese Witherspoon, and Julie Roberts), but no one would remember you even a year later, you’d do it. Edit thanks to Ariel: A better example for being beloved is Mother Theresa.

I have a feeling these intersect somehow with the Five Love Languages, but I’m not sure how yet.

13 thoughts on “What’s Your Vice?”

    • So if you could have 1000 fans that buy your books without even checking the price, OR you could be a NY Times bestseller and your least favorite English teacher from middle school would see your book in the airport and think, “Oh, I guess she did all right after all,” which would you choose?

  1. I suppose I want fame, but only if it comes with a certain amount of love as well. I don’t want to be famous for being a trainwreck, like Lindsay Lohan. I’d like for people to know me and like me because of some kind of positive or intelligent contribution I’ve made to society, not because I can always be counted on to make a fool out of myself and provide endless gossip and mindless entertainment to the masses. Is that so much to ask? 🙂

    • Katie–That’s a great point about Lohan. Infamy is different than fame, but I think some people would take fame at any cost. Based on that, I would say that you’d fit more into the “love” category, right?

  2. My vice, of those choices, is money. I think that comes from having very little and having to manage every penny of every paycheck. It comes from having enough to pay essentials, but never having enough to save for things like cruises and trips that I see friends my age take. I don’t want for stuff–having many cars, a private plane, designer clothing, etc. doesn’t appeal to me. It’s the security that having a great deal of money could provide that I dream of. Being able to pay off two student loans and my car before buying a modest home here and a modest home on the Outer Banks while also being able to get groceries when they’re needed would be a dream come true. The caveat that I’d “have to live a very quiet life on a private estate” sold me. I think such a life sounds absolutely divine.

    I might also buy a yacht. I’ve always wanted to be able to spend ridiculous amounts of time on the water and I’d have the money to make that happen. Alone. With good books and chefs. Ahh, salt-sprayed perfection…

    • Emily–It sounds like you’d take full advantage of the high life of a millionaire if given the chance. Hopefully you will someday!

  3. I figured it out. I want fame – but not just any type of fame – I want an annual google tribute. I don’t care if it is my birthday, the anniversary of my death, or even just a random day. But I want someone at google to think I am important enough to be worthy of the google homepage creative decoration being in my honor. And yes, I would do ANYTHING for that.


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