Pet Please #53: Microwaves

Specifically, this:

You put a plate of leftovers–let’s say rice and salmon–into the microwave. Then you have what is really a very minor choice: How long do you wish to cook this food?

There’s no real difference between 1 minute or 1:11 or 1:23, and yet we carefully choose our cook time to the very second. Do you know how much a second matters? In the world of microwaving, it means nothing. You’re not going to turn a good dish into throw-you-onto-the-counter orgasmic dish by adding a single second.

Yet we do it. We carefully select our cook time to the second.

And when the food comes out just right, we feel like we are are a success. We have cracked the secret code of how long to cook rice and salmon. Mark this day in history, for it shall be remembered.

That is, until the next time you cook rice and salmon, during which the whole process starts all over again.


3 Responses to “Pet Please #53: Microwaves”

  1. Jasmin says:

    Eww… Microwaved salmon, really? Ewww… I rather have raw salmon with a spritz of lemon juice.

    • Jamey Stegmaier says:

      I know, salmon is one of the top 5 worst smelling things to put in the microwave (it’s up there with broccoli), but I want it warm!

      • Jasmin says:

        You know you can always fish for one. Then you can clean, cut, fillet, and eat it warm without the microwave. Or you can warm it by putting it in a bowl of warm water… or put the fish in a bowl of water before microwaving it! Just thought of that. Your microwave must smell awful. *Gag*

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