Pet Please #58: Holding Hands for the First Time

I don’t get nervous for first dates anymore.

It just doesn’t happen. Most of the time I get excited to meet someone new, but nervous? Nah. I simply follow my own recommendations for a good first date and do it.

However, there is one key area of dating for which I still get nervous. And honestly, I love that I still get nervous about this thing. Because although it often feels like I’m going through motions on dates, I don’t want to feel that way.

That area is holding hands for the first time in a movie theater. I often spend most of the first half of the movie debating where or not I should hold the girl’s hand. Is it too soon? Too late? Is she interested? Am I interested? Do I want that hand free for popcorn? Did I eat too much popcorn? Am I covered in popcorn?!

And then the calm comes when I realize: I’m going to do it. This is actually happening. My hand is moving. It’s happening. It’s touching her hand, my fingers curling around hers…

…and she reciprocates.

I then spend a few minutes wondering if she’s only holding my hand because she doesn’t want it to be awkward, and then I realize how weird that would be–if she didn’t want to hold my hand, she’d just push me away.

It’s at this point that I really start to enjoy the hand-holding experience. I wonder why I didn’t try it earlier. I’m an active hand holder–my hand doesn’t just lay their limply. Neither should yours. I don’t have a formula, but I just enjoy touching her for what is probably the first time our skin has met. In my experience, the best hand holders are active, suggestive, and variable.

For those of you who are single, what makes you nervous? And those of you in long-term relationships, does anything still make you nervous? If not, do you miss it?

6 thoughts on “Pet Please #58: Holding Hands for the First Time”

  1. Hand holding in long-term relationship – is still very dear and special. Hands fit just right – and after 34 years of marriage we still hold hands a lot, and we are not nervous about it… well, maybe nervous that we might embarrass someone with outside signs of affection.

    • You thought that seeing our parents hold hands was embarrassing for us? That’s not the case at all. It’s good for kids to see their parents showing their love for one another in public.

  2. The first touch, period. Whether it be holding hands or maybe squeezing in when walking through a crowd. Maybe not nervousness as much as anticipation.


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