7 Burning Questions About the Show “Community” for the Benefit of People Who Don’t Watch “Community”
I asked my friend–and fellow lover of the NBC Thursday-night comedy “Community”–to answer a few completely unbiased questions about the show. Below is the Q&A.
- On a scale from 9 to 10, how awesome is the NBC show Community? 11, obviously
- If you could give birth to a baby tomorrow, which character on Community would you name him/her after? Well since my middle name is Hawthorne, which is also my grandmother’s maiden name, the obvious answer would be Pierce Hawthorne. This would work well not only because its a family name, but also because it would fit nicely with the current naming trends of using last names for first names for boys (I know, right, aren’t you sick of seeing little boys named Jackson? Ok, I get it, you named your son after your favorite child molester from when you were a kid) and girls names ending in “e” (see: Kaylee, Caylee, Kylie, Carlee, Halee, Jaylee, etc. of course, I guess I would have to spell it Hawthornee to really fit in). However, Pierce Hawthorne is an old racist (but don’t worry, he’s the hilarious kind) so that wouldn’t do. Jeff and Annie are both nice enough names but too bland. Shirley is out because I don’t expect my wife to give birth to a 60 year old woman. I would go with Abed but I don’t want my kid “randomly” searched at the airport all the time. The name Troy is just dumb (seriously have you ever met a Troy that wasn’t dumb? I’m looking at you Aikman). I don’t really have a problem naming my daughter after a water filter, but if I do I would rather go with PUR than Britta. So I guess that leaves Chang. I’ll probably name my next kid Chang.
- What movie do you hope Community pays an homage to in the future? Back to the Future (how have they not done this already?)
- Given the competing shows in the Community timeslot (The Big Bang Theory, Charlie’s Angels, and The X Factor), if you didn’t own a DVR and had to watch it live, why would you continue to choose Community? First of all, I did not realize that there were other shows in this time slot, I just assumed that the rest of broadcast television took a break at this time since anyone with a brain would be watching Community so why bother broadcasting other shows, but I am disappointed to learn that there are other shows on at this hour and that most Americans do not have brains. Well the obvious answer is that Community is the best show on TV so even if it was up against Modern Family, How I Met Your Mother, and New Girl (the best shows on each of the other networks), I would still watch it, but let’s take this show by show. Ok, X-Factor is already out because it is literally the Pepsi version of another better show (which I also don’t watch). Charlie’s Angels has sadly been cancelled and the only thing left of it are the unwatched copies on my DVR. I don’t really get why this show didn’t work, but I didn’t actually watch it either, I just taped it and planned to watch it later. Maybe that’s what everyone else did also. Which brings us to the Big Bang Theory….ugh! Seriously?!? The BBT is like Teen Jeopardy, it’s a show that dumb people can watch and feel smart (it’s actually probably more like Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?). I think the only reason why people watch this show is that when the “nerds” make “nerdy” references that everyone in the world can get they feel smart for getting them. “Ha, he made a joke about science and I got it, we’re both so smart!” people say to themselves. Community is real Jeopardy, which actual smart people watch to make them feel smart. Its probably more like Rock and Roll Jeopardy (what up, Jeff Probst?) since virtually all the references are pop-culture, but it’s still hard and its still awesome.
- If Community lasts 5 seasons, followed by a movie, how many times would you see the movie? Somewhere between the number of times I’ve seen Fletch and the number of times I’ve seen Christmas Vacation (…so a lot!)
- What would it take for you to no longer watch Community? I can imagine only two scenarios wherein I would not watch Community: 1. If there were some kind of huge electro-shock (probably cause by aliens) that disabled all electronic devices in the entire world (because if it was just America I would travel internationally to secure a working TV). or 2. If I were beaten, bound and gagged, had my eyes gouged out then dressed in that freaky rubber suit from American Horror Story, then chained to the wall of a dungeon miles below the surface of the earth with no TV. Or, I guess more likely, when the show gets cancelled because you and I are pretty much the only people that watch it.
- If you owned a cable channel and bought the rights to Community reruns, how many hours a day would you devote to Community and which episode would you air the most often? Of course, I would name my network Greendale (the name of the Community College) and I would show TBS-style Community “marathons” every weeknight from 8:00-10:00. I would put the paintball episodes on heavy rotation along with the Model UN episode, the fake flashback episode, the Conspiracy Theory episode, the chicken finger episode, the Dungeons and Dragons episode, maybe the one where Jeff and Annie run for student president (“Pop! Pop!”)…ok basically all of them. What I’ve learned from this question is that I need to buy this show on DVD and watch all of these episodes many more times. I would fill the rest of the hours of programming with The Price Is Right, Seinfeld reruns and live coverage of the Tennis Grand Slams in the hopes that associating Community with other amazing television programming would help people realize how great it is. (ps. I’m sorry I’m too lazy to look up the actually episode titles for these episodes because those titles are hilarious too.)
What’s your favorite show that not enough people watch?
PS. If you already watch Community, you earn 5 Jamey points to be redeemed on a future occasion.