Swedish Director of Original “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” Film to Remake American Version

STOCKHOLM, Sweden (AP) – Niels Arden Oplev, director of the 2009 Swedish film “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,” announced today that he was going to remake the 2011 American remake of his film back in the original Swedish.

“Specifically,” he clarified from his perch on a fjord, “I’m going to remake the novelization of the American remake of my original film adaptation of the  novel ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.'”

Oplev was quick to add that this would not be a shot-by-shot remake. However, while putting together a piece of IKEA furniture, he indicated that he was inspired by the American adaptation to cast “very attractive people, but to make them look as unattractive as possible” using makeup, costumes, and what he could only describe as “svenfjorgeborg.

“It roughly translates to, ‘that thing that happens to a actor after they are woken up night after night by a naked Swedish man hovering over their bed,” Oplev said, wearing a navy blue and yellow sweater and eating a Toblerone.

The production company, Det Danske Filminstitut (really!), plans on releasing the film in 2014. American remake director David Fincher, although unavailable for comment, indicated on his Twitter feed Thursday that he would follow the remake of the remake with a claymation remake in 2017.

Copyright 2011 The Ass Press.

3 thoughts on “Swedish Director of Original “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” Film to Remake American Version”

    • Thanks man. No one ever comments on my satirical entries; it’s something I’ve come to terms with. I love writing them, though, so it’s going to happen from time to time.


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