We’ve come to the blind date. The one, the only, blind date.
A female friend asked me early last year if she could set me up on a blind date. She had a friend who wanted to set up her friend on a blind date, so there were two degrees of separation between me and the date (this is relevant because this date would not have happened if my friend knew anything about the date).
I had never been on a blind date, so I figured I’d give it a try, with the contingency that the girl (we’ll call her Melinda) go into it blind as well so we could share that experience. Those terms were offered and agreed upon. Melinda and I had no contact before the date–it was simply communicated that we’d grab drinks and leave it at that.
Melinda showed up a few minutes late, but I soon forgot about that because she was cute in a hipster kind of way. We ordered drinks. It was all downhill from there.
It was almost as if we were there for two completely different reasons (which I later learned was true). I was on a first date. She seemed to be in a business meeting that required her to talk to me about a very eclectic hobby of hers.
So I listened to Melinda talk for a while and then watched her order dinner 20 minutes into our drink date. I didn’t stop her–how could I?
Conversation opened up a little bit, but mostly she seemed interested in talking about her hobby. She also revealed that she had read my blog despite our arrangement to go into the date blind. Again, I didn’t say anything and tried not to get hung up on it–after all, did it really matter?
The kicker came at the end of the date when I walked her to her car. I noticed a child’s safety seat in the back. Melinda hadn’t mentioned having a child, so I asked her if she did in a halfway joking way–I figured there was no way she had a kid, as that’s the kind of thing you bring up (at least in passing) on a date.
Indeed, she replied that she had a kid. In fact, she had very recently given birth to that kid–he was just a few months old. And as I later learned, she had gotten back together with the father of the child just a few days before our blind date, so she decided to treat the date as a business meeting instead of a date (but obviously didn’t inform me of the change).
So many things wrong here…let’s see:
Lesson #7: Don’t be late for a first date. Or any date.
Lesson #8: I’m not a fan of drink dates turning into dinner dates, especially if only one person orders dinner. Just get drinks and don’t assume the other person is having a good enough time to extend the date. If he/she wants to see you again, he/she will ask you out on a second date.
Lesson #9: If you get back together with an ex or start dating someone else before the date, cancel the date.
Lesson #10: If you have a child, don’t let the other person discover you have a child on their own. Just tell them.