Best Blog Comments for December 2011

I almost forgot about this! The best songs, movies, and books of 2011 will have to wait until tomorrow. Conversation comes first on this blog, and these awesome comments are the heart of that conversation.

The Best Blind Date story award goes to Brad for this winner on my entry about a blind date:

I once had a blind date call me the day before the date and cancel, saying she had been in a car wreck and was going to recuperate at her parent’s house, which was an hour away. (This was not true.)

She would call me every month or so afterward just to “catch up”. How you catch up with someone you’ve never met, I don’t know. At the end of the first call, I suggested we meet up. She brushed that off, so I never bothered to ask again. Nevertheless, she continued calling. On about the fourth call, she told me she wanted to set me up with a friend of hers. Keep in mind, I HAD NEVER MET THIS WOMAN IN PERSON. I told her that I was seeing someone (I wasn’t), but that her friend sounded nice and I would like to set the friend up with a friend of mine in what would have easily been the weirdest blind date ever. She did not seem enthused by this idea, and we never spoke again – which actually disappointed me, because our relationship was so strange that I was fascinated by it. It was like I had seen the Loch Ness Monster. I knew I would never see it again, and I wanted to stare at it as long as possible so I could tell future generations.

On that same blog entry, Trev and Lorena split the award for Best List of Random Caving Magazines with these titles:

  • Spelunker
  • The Mining Journal
  • Caves, Caves, Caves!
  • Let’s Go! Giza
  • The Archaeologist
  • The Atlantis Monthly

The Best Advice from My Mom award goes to…my mom! For this snippet on my entry about having good friends who are not your spouse:

Whenever I decide to do something outside of my marriage, the question I ask and expect an affirmative before acting: Will this ____ enhance my marriage? Will I be better person having another relationship or an outside interest — and bring that better person I have become in to my marriage.

After Trev challenged me to create an accompanying list to Mindy Kaling’s list of guy rules from the perspective of “a woman who lives on a ranch in Wyoming and climbs mountains or rides horses for fun,” Katie replied with the Funniest Comment of the Month:

“After a long day herding cattle and baling hay, make sure to moisturize your hands before touching your gal. There’s nothing worse than having your sensitive lady parts being caressed by hands that feel like they should be part of your favorite worn-in saddle.”

“Don’t use her grandma’s antique kettle as your spitoon.”

“Remember that chaps and lassos are for outside the bedroom only. Splurge a little and make her feel like a lady by getting her some of them fancy underthings. I’ve seen some camo lingerie that would do the trick real nice.”

To see the best blog comments from last month, click here.

7 thoughts on “Best Blog Comments for December 2011”

  1. Yes!! Back in the Best of the Month!! November was a disappointment, so I was determined to climb the mountain again. It’s amazing what not having jail time hanging over you can do for your ability to write humorously.

  2. Holy cow! I was just trying to procrastinate at work that day!

    I’d like to accept this award on behalf of all of the down-home, straight-talkin’, cattle-ropin’ women in the one horse town this gal grew up in. (Ok, so my hometown had like, 20,000 people and most of us have never set foot on a ranch or farm. That’s beside the point.)

    But that post did have a rather disturbing root in reality. Dude, I’ve seen camo lingerie before. It exists. I used to work these auctions for the National Wild Turkey Federation while I was in college to supplement my income…and becuase I thought it meant free shots of Wild Turkey bourbon all night…fooled again.

    Anyway, after selling raffle tickets, I had to walk around the items during the live auction for the bidders to see. And yes, at one event they had a free night at a local hotel, a bottle of wine, and a camo teddy (The lacy, frilly kind. Not the bear). My friend and I drew straws, and I came up with the short one, and was forced to walk it around the room to cheers and shouts of “Why don’t you model it for us, honey!”

    I’m pretty sure at least three of the guys thought that my companionship was part of the package, so imagine my dismay when the highest bid was only $35. 😉

    • I’m trying to understand the appeal of camo lingerie. Perhaps it’s in the same category as “women shooting shotguns,” which I also don’t understand. Or maybe it’s in the “leopard print underwear” category? I used to understand that one, but not anymore. Is it supposed to be exotic?

      I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: The print on the underwear doesn’t matter at all. What matters is that the underwear FITS.

      • I wouldn’t say it doesn’t matter at all. I’m sure prints can be sexy just as much as unsexy. What if it’s, like, Hello Kitty underwear or something? As a man, that would give me some pause! Just as you don’t get leopard print, I don’t get Hello Kitty! Who wants a sweet, child-like kitten smiling back at them during intimate moments? Yuck.

        • Hmm…you have to understand how a man’s mind works. When we see a woman in her underwear, we’re not thinking about the print. We’re thinking, “I can’t believe she’s in her underwear! This is awesome!” Of course, we think essentially the same thing if the underwear doesn’t fit, but it slightly detracts from the appeal.


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