High School Jamey

A few months ago, the alumni coordinators of my high school senior class came up with the idea of compiling life updates from a few Class of ’99ers every few months and sending them out to the whole class so we can see what everyone is up to. My turn in the rotation came up the other day, as did my friend Bryce, but we didn’t want to send out some generic update about our life. I mean, you can get that info from Facebook. So we decided to pose questions to one another that we thought might incite some interesting answers. Below you’ll find Bryce’s questions for me and my answers.

  1. In our AP Government class you sat in the front row right in front of Mr. Schrieber’s overhead projector in an obvious attempt to curry favor with the old man. On a scale of 1-Anoop (a former classmate), how much do you suck up to your current boss and what’s the best result to ever come from your suck-uppyness? I don’t think anyone will ever achieve a true Anoop, but I think my score has dropped quite a bit since then. In fact, I often have to remind myself that I can’t talk to my boss like that. The best result to ever come from my suck-uppyness was signing an amazing author who was way out of our league to a fledging fiction publishing companythat I started in ’10 with a few fellow St. Louis writers (it’s a passion project on the side of my day job).

    My High School Graduation Photo
  2. In our pre-GPS high school days you could not drive from your house to the closest Chick-Fil-A with out getting lost. Where is the coolest place where you’ve gotten lost since high school? Fortunately GPS was invented since we graduated—otherwise I’d still be driving around looking for my first apartment after college. I recently took a solo trip to Ireland, and I spent most of my time lost there. Which is not at all a bad thing when you’re exploring a new country.
  3. In high school you thought you were good looking, but you were also a huge nerd. Which do you feel has held you back more in life, your good looks or your nerdiness? How would your life be different if you were just a dumb average looking dude? Good question. I’ve gone partially grey in the hair now (more Buscemi grey than Clooney grey), and I’ve only gotten nerdier. I would say my life would be almost exactly the same if I were a dumb averaging looking dude, but I’d own fewer cats.
  4. You took 8 years of Japanese in high school. When you go to a Benihana, do you try to impress your date by talking to your American waiters in Japanese? Also, do you order chicken or shrimp? And have you ever learned how to make that volcano out of onions? Although I studied abroad in Kyoto my junior year and reached the level of fluency that the Japanese-Language Proficiency Test describes as “Able to date Japanese women without sounding like an idiot,” I have since forgotten almost all of my Japanese. For your second and third questions, you’re thinking of China and Australia (another island nation, but not the same as Japan).
  5. In high school you spent a considerable amount of time writing love letters to freshmen girls. Do you have an outlet for writing now? I’ve spent the last year on Match.com writing e-mails to women even younger than Carter Severson (at her current age! She was a freshman I dated when I was a senior), so yes, that proud Stegmaier tradition continues. As you’ve noticed by the abundance of hyperlinks in this Q&A, I also write a daily blog.
  6. In high school you joined Model UN to meet girls. As a former member of an award winning Model UN team, which award nominated NBC sitcom had a better Model UN themed episode this season “Parks and Recreation” or “Community?” I love them both, but I’m definitely going with Community here. The science works out.

What do you want your high school class to know about you now?

8 thoughts on “High School Jamey”

  1. Your friend came up with a fun questionnaire. I guess I’d want my class to know that what I once feared came true: now that I’m satisfied with the person I am, I really have stopped caring if any of the people who picked on me in high school ever know that my life has turned out great. Not that I’m wealthy or famous, but I’m happy and fulfilled in love, work, and play. What more can I ask?

    • Thanks Cara, but in fairness the funny questionnaire was Jamey’s idea. He, humbly, neglected to mention that he was the one to suggest that we write funny questions for each other and his questions to me were funnier than mine to him (but I don’t write a daily blog, so unfortunately you’ll never see his questions).

      And congratulations on your happiness and fulfillment and your lack of wealth and fame!

  2. Jamey, question 4’s second and third questions are on your hibachi skills. So the question is can you flip that shrimp into your front pocket?

  3. What fun questions and answers!
    But does taking 8 years of Japanese in High School mean you were in High School for 8 years? Yeesh…that potentially makes it so much creepier that you were dating a freshman when you were a senior. 😉

    As for my high school class, maybe the most interesting update is that I no longer drive a car that has to be push-started. (A little more convenient and dignified, but way less fun.)


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