My Greatest Fear #26: Pulling a “Memento”

If you haven’t seen the movie Memento, please stop reading and watch the movie.

Back already? Good.

In Memento, a character has a memory disorder that causes memories to fade after a few minutes. His wife realizes that he’s not faking the disorder when she asks him to administer her daily insulin shot time every few minutes–she’s testing to see if he remembers giving the previous shot, which he does not. After a number of shots in rapid succession, her body can’t handle the insulin and she dies.

Now, my greatest fear is nothing close to that. I don’t have diabetes or a memory disorder. I do, however, take a daily allergy medicine. Most days I remember; others I forget. And there are a few mornings when I step out of the shower and have absolutely no idea if I took my pill when I first entered the bathroom.

It’s a baffling moment when that happens–I’m sure you’ve all felt it at some point. You have this daily routine, so it’s both ingrained into you that you’ve taken the medicine, just like any other day, and yet there’s also a void where you feel like you should remember taking the medicine since it was so recent.

I doubt that taking two Claritin in a row is going to be the end of me. But it’s that tiny fear that I’ll enter an endless loop of thinking I haven’t taken the pill even though I really have that I’m concerned about. I wonder if that’s what Alzheimer’s feels like. That’s really scary.

Do you share this fear?