Your Greatest Fear #27: Trash-Talking After Butt-Dialing

Today’s guest blog is brought to you by blog visitor, beta reader extraordinaire, and Blank Slate Press selection committee member Ansley. She has a very specific fear to share with you today that I’m going to add to my coda of greatest fears.

I have some pretty wacky fears.

(Insert horse picture here.)

(Insert clown picture here.)

(Insert a picture of a male breastfeeding a baby here [thanks, Jamey].)

Editor’s Note: I thought it would be funnier to leave Ansley’s descriptions of scary photos than insert the actual photos. Plus, no one wants to look at a clown photo. Ever.

BUT…my greatest fear is that I will butt-dial someone while trash-talking someone and they will hear the entire diatribe.

You might think I’m a nice person. And you’d be right. But, unfortunately, when someone gets on my bad side, I am VERY easily persuaded to list their faults and annoying behaviors. I can go on for hours, actually, which isn’t a good thing, but I suppose it’s a gift. I can really get going and I have this bad habit of checking my phone to make sure the person I’m crabbing about isn’t listening in on the conversation.

It actually happened today when my dear friend came over to get help on her reality TV application. My mom called and I immediately ignored the call, silencing the ring.

“Oh lord, it’s my mom again. I wonder what insane request she might have for me now. Maybe she’s wanting me to head to the grocery store to pick up some milk and then send me a text with a list of the 15 other things she needs. Or, maybe she wants me to make her bed. Or, maybe she just wants to tell me something I have absolutely no interest in hearing and I’ll have to put up with her for an entire story.”

And then I stop.

Oh shit. Did I really push “ignore” or did I actually ANSWER THE PHONE?!?!?!?!?!

I tell myself that this is an irrational thought and that OF COURSE I didn’t answer the phone. But, I checked anyway. 3 times. In a row.

This is an actual fear. Does anyone else have this fear?