My Greatest Fear #31: Causing a Car Accident with a Sneeze

I’m surprised the human race has survived despite the bodily function we call sneezing.

When you sneeze, you project your innards at 100 mph into the surrounding air. We’re talking about a force so strong that it’s physically impossible to keep your eyes open when it happens. How are there not more sneezing-related injuries?

And I’m just talking normal, walking around, doing-your-business type sneezes. It’s a whole other matter when you’re driving a car. Your operating heavy machinery despite your inner capacity to create gale-force winds at any moment.

I’ll be honest: I like a good sneeze. In private, that is. When I’m around people, I’ll stifle the sneeze or reduce it to a whimper. But in private? I let it rip. I like responding to my body’s needs, so if it needs to shake things up inside my nose, I’m all for it.

So when I’m driving alone, I’ll let it rip. If you watched me in slow motion, I’m guessing my entire body convulses while my head propels forward then backwards, my eyes shutting involuntarily. And I’m driving! None of those things make for safe driving.

Thus I’m genuinely surprised that more car accidents don’t happen due to sneezes, and I’m worried that one day a fateful sneeze will send my car careening off a cliff on the way to work (never mind that there are no cliffs in St. Louis).

Do you sneeze while driving? Are you concerned about the risks involved? Have you ever hurt yourself or someone else by sneezing?