My New Lady Friend

You know how they say, “When you know, you know?”

I now know what they’re talking about.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned it here on the blog, but I got back on Match and OkCupid a few months ago. I got sucked back in by the illusion of e-mails from yoga-pants wearing women with top-notch conversational skills and sweat that smells like Angel by Thierry.

I went on a few dates here and there, but none really struck me as keepers.

That is, until Christmas Day. That’s when I met Roomquisha.

First, to be clear, Roomquisha isn’t perfect. That’s been an important lesson for me in this journey of love. No one is perfect–what matters is that you’re perfect for each other. For example, I often find that Roomquisha has locked herself in the closet or bathroom (yes, we already live together). Sometimes I’ll come home to find that she has dragged my shoes around my condo. Today I discovered that she pushed one of my cat gymnasiums all the way across the room.

She’s got attitude. AND I LIKE IT.

Despite the incident with the cat gym, Roomquisha gets along really well with the cats. That’s important to me. Biddy and Walter keep a safe distance from her, but they’re not afraid of her like her predecessor. They’re more…curious.

I consider myself a progressive man, a man who does his fair share of the chores around the house. But it really warms my heart that Roomquisha seems to love to do some of those chores for me so I can spend my time on other pursuits. I don’t have to say a word, and off she goes, usually when I’m at work.

There’s more to Roomquisha than her affinity for cats. She’s fun, she’s sassy, and she knows her way around the bedroom. Every inch of it (except corners).

I don’t usually do this, but I’d like to share with you a home video that Roomquisha and I made. It’s pretty graphic, but this is a love that cannot be contained on my iPhone. I need to share it with the world. This, my friends, is Roomquisha:

(If you can’t see the video, I apologize. Roomquisha is a Roomba, not an actual human lady.)