Two Reminders That I’m Really Happy with the Status Quo

McDonalds babyDo you ever need to do something every now and then to remember why you don’t do it on a regular basis?

Tonight was one of those nights.

A friend, Nick, was in town with his wife, so they met up with me and our mutual friends, Trev and his wife. Nick has two little girls (11 months and 2 years), and Trev has a 9-month-old boy.

We went to a local Mexican restaurant and had a great time catching up. Nick’s girls are really cute (his 11-month-old almost made me clap in delight every time she blew bubbles. It was that amazing), and it’s neat to see Trev’s boy developing a personality. I can’t wait for him to meet my cats.

It was great to see the kids and be around kids for a few hours. I genuinely like kids. But it was also a fantastic reminder that I am really, really glad I don’t have children.

It wasn’t anything in particular. All of the parents at the table seemed happy and healthy, as did the kids. It was moreso the realization of the sheer amount of work and attention kids require. If we had turned away from the table to let the kids do whatever they wanted for, say, 10 seconds, when we turned back around, all of the food would be on the floor, one of the kids would be naked and shaking his/her dirty diaper in the guacamole, and one of the kids would have playfully stabbed another with a fork.

And these were pretty calm kids.

So as I drove away from the restaurant, as much fun as I had with the kids, I was so grateful that I could drive home to my cats and do whatever I want without having to worry about bedtime or bathtime or diapers or any of that. I have a ton of respect for parents–a newfound respect, even–but I’m happy to stay Uncle Jamey for now.

On the way home, I decided to stop at McDonald’s to get a fudge sundae. I haven’t been to McDonald’s in about a year. Like with the kids, it’s one of those places that I rarely get involved with, and when I do, I’m reminded of why I don’t eat at McDonald’s.

Today was no different. I asked for a fudge sundae, a complicated order that the McDonald’s employee couldn’t understand. So I repeated it slowly, and he told me that their ice cream machine wasn’t working (I’m pretty sure that was the case the last time I went there, so I should have known better). I really wanted dessert in some form, so I asked for 3cookies. You can get 1 cookie for $0.40 or 3 cookies for $1.00. Obviously 3 is the right choice.

I paid at the first window and then waited behind the car in front of me to receive my cookies. I waited, and waited, and waited. Literally 10 minutes passed, during which I checked my e-mail, scanned Facebook, adopted 12 kittens using the Humane Society app, ran another Kickstarter campaign from start to finish, and read War and Peace twice.

By that time I was dying to know what the people in front of me had ordered. Remarkably, all the ordered was a single cheeseburger. Three guys in a car, one cheeseburger. Yeah, that’s normal.

As I drove away, I peeked into my bag to admire the size and freshness of my 3 cookies, only to find that there were only 2 cookies. I figured that no one has ever ordered McDonald’s cookies before, and they had given me the two display cookies for the front counter. Good enough. I had already gotten what I really came for–a reminder of why I don’t go to McDonald’s.

Thank you, Nick and Trevor, for reminding me why I don’t have kids. And thank you, McDonald’s, for reminding me why I don’t go to McDonald’s. Those are genuine thank yous,especially the latter. By remembering why I don’t do something, it’s easy for me not to do it again for a long time.

8 thoughts on “Two Reminders That I’m Really Happy with the Status Quo”

  1. “Literally 10 minutes passed, during which I checked my e-mail, scanned Facebook, adopted 12 kittens using the Humane Society app, ran another Kickstarter campaign from start to finish, and read War and Peace twice.”

    I reached the 12 kittens part and couldn’t stop laughing.

  2. Three Guys and A Cheeseburger sound like the title of the perfect sitcom. Or the opening scenes of a Tarantino movie.
    I also make it a habit never to go to McDonald’s. I hate their food. Also, I’m not sure if the ice cream machine is always freakin’ broken or if the employee is just lazy. I’m sure it could have been the latter on some occasions.

    • Trev: I’m happy to do my part to help the community.

      Laura: It’s the one on Hampton.

      Ams: That’s a great point–I bet parents rarely have moments of silence.

      Teddy: “Three Guys and a Cheeseburge” does sound like an amazing sitcom. That made me laugh.


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