When Cats Fail You

Yesterday I wrote about how happy I was that I have cats, not kids (or McDonald’s).

Today Biddy reminded me that cats aren’t always perfect.

I just got home a few minutes ago. I scratched Walter, gave Biddy some treats, and started slipping into something more comfortable (for me, not the cats). Meanwhile, Biddy jumped up on the bed with a wild look in his eyes.

You may be familiar with a game you can play with cats that involves you making a rapid motion with your hand under the bed sheets. The cat thinks something amazing is under there (a bird! A mouse! A signed first edition of Cat’s Cradle!) and pounces on it.

Over the years, Biddy has become jaded and critical of this game. He knows there’s nothing interesting under the sheets. Walter, however, is quite susceptible to it, but Walter has front claws, so it’s painful to play this game with him.

So when I saw the wild look in Biddy’s eyes, I thought I might try the sheet game for old time’s sake.

Remarkably, he responded to the game. He pounced on my hand for a second and then jumped backwards to furiously dig at the sheets. I love it when cats “dig,” so this delighted me to no end. Clearly he was trying to dig at the amazing thing under the sheets.

biddy desk post-poopAfter a good 15 seconds of digging, he paused, and I caught his attention with some more rapid movement. Again he pounced and then retreated to dig, even more furiously this time. I repeated this one more time and then retracted my hand to watch him dig.

When he finished the final dig, he got a far-off look in his eyes and arched his back a little.

Then he released a massive dump on the bed.

I watched it happen in slow motion. It was too late for me to stop it. And even while it was happening, I realized what I had done by encouraging the digging. Cats dig in their litter box before they go to the bathroom, and I had encouraged the digging, which probably triggered Biddy’s instinct to poop. He was probably just as dismayed as I was.

With the sheets in the laundry machine, Biddy is lying next to me on the desk right now (I literally just took the photo posted here). All is good, and I’m still glad I have cats, not kids, but I sure hope this doesn’t become a habit. One time is funny. Two times is just a lot of crap on my bed.