Will People with 20/20 Vision Outlast Everyone Else Post-Apocalypse?

apocalypse_meow_final-thumb-620xauto-38329Despite my best efforts to ruin my eyes by looking at a computer screen for 14+ hours a day, at 32.5 years of age, I still have 20/20 vision, if not slightly better. Yesterday I used this evolutionary marvel to spot a squirrel pooping on the sidewalk from 40 yards away.

I must admit that I have a slight sense of pride when it comes to my good vision, as well as a kinship with other 20/20ers. Whenever I find out a girl I like has perfect vision, she gets bonus points. Natural selection, right?

That said, my vision seems to give me very little advantage in today’s world of glasses and contact lenses. Sure, I don’t have to touch my eyeballs on a daily basis (seriously, how do you all do that?!), but once you slip in your contacts, we have the same vision.

The one exception is what I reference in the title of this post: What if there’s an apocalypse (zombie, natural disaster, kitten revolution, etc) and the world goes to hell and a handbasket (is that the expression? What’s with the handbasket?). I imaging there will be lots of rioting and looting. People are going to run out of contact fluid pretty quickly, and your glasses are going to be broken as you sort through rubble for one last Bud Select.

Once your corrective lenses are gone, don’t your odds of survival go way down? How are you going to protect yourself from bipedal dolphin invaders if you can’t tell the difference between them and your best friend?

I’ll make this pledge to you, people of less than perfect vision: I’ll try to look out for you as long as I can. I might need to use you as bait, but if you can trust that I’ll be nearby, hand-carved bow and arrow in hand, we might make a good team.

What do you think? Will people with 20/20 vision outlast everyone else post-apocalypse? How long will you last?*

*Just for the record, I’ll probably get a migraine on day 2 of the apocalypse and get eaten by a zombie while I look for a dark, quiet place to lie down.