Pet Please #93: When You Get the Eyelash Out of Your Eye on the First Attempt

puss_in_boots_eyesI feel like I get eyelashes in my eyes more often than the average person.

Granted, I have no idea how often the average person gets eyelashes in their eye. Maybe twice a week? For me, it’s at least once a day.

Usually it comes out of nowhere. I’m sitting at the computer, minding my own business, when out of nowhere THERE IS SOMETHING ATTACKING MY CORNEA WITH AN ADAMANTIUM BLADE.

I rush to the bathroom and look at my eye in the mirror. This is step one of this pet please: Either the eyelash is easily visible thanks to its color and location in my eye, or it’s one of those nearly invisible lashes that gets under your eyelid. If it’s the former, we’ve just activated this pet please.

But the pet please isn’t complete without step two: Getting the damn thing out of my eye. Fortunately I don’t wear contacts. However, if I did wear contacts, I would be comfortable touching my eye. That’s not the case.

So the ideal step two is when a small portion of the eyelash is still hanging onto the exterior of my eyelid. Thus I don’t have to touch my eye at all–I just need to carefully extract it from the others.

It instantly feels better. You know what I’m talking about. It’s one of those things–like finally going to the bathroom after holding it for way too long on a road trip–that goes from feeling absolutely terrible to feeling amazing and clear and normal again within a split second. Night and day, just like that. It’s the best. Particularly when it’s an easy extraction.

I can’t even imagine what it feels like to get an eyelash in your eye if you’re the type of woman who wears goop on your eyelashes. That must really burn.


4 Responses to “Pet Please #93: When You Get the Eyelash Out of Your Eye on the First Attempt”

  1. T-Mac says:

    I can see how getting an eyelash in your eye can happen for someone with such luscious, flowing, vibrant lashes as yourself, but I’m still blown away by the frequency with which it seems to happen for you. I can’t remember the last time an eyelash of mine landed in my eye–it’s been years. Am I the anomaly or is Jamey? Readers, I’d love for you to weigh in.

    • Jamey Stegmaier says:

      Years?! Surely you jest. I just assumed this happened to people all the time. Maybe I rub my eyes more than the average person?

  2. Katy says:

    As a woman who wears “goop” on her eyelashes, I’ve never noticed it hurting/stinging more when a stray eyelash makes its way into my eye versus times when my lashes have been product free. Maybe that’s because I try to use organic/natural products, or because I’m also a contact wearer and the minimal discomfort of an eyelash on my eyeball is nothing compared to the excruciating pain of putting in a contact that is the wrong size for your eyeball, or not realizing that you’ve just put a torn lens in.

    I rub my eyes a lot too (especially when I’m looking at a computer screen for a long time), but think at most I’ve lost 1-2 eyelashes in a week… so maybe Trevor is right and you’re the anomaly?

  3. Katie says:

    As a goop-wearer and constant eye rubber (allergies galore!), I feel like I can safely say you are an anomaly. This happens to me once every month or so, maybe? Perhaps not even that often.

    What drives me nuts is when a single hair falls out of my head and lands on my collarbone or arm. It’s that creepy ticklish, spidery feeling, and I’ll sit there and grab at my skin like a freak of nature until I get it off. My hair is light enough that it is camouflaged against my skin, making it hard to pinpoint.

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